What is Halloween?

Halloween is a favorite time of year for me.

I mean. I don’t particualy enjoy being scared. Yet. I do. I LOVE, especially, going to haunted houses. That shit is so fun. Especially when they’re done right, you know? If they’re NOTHING but jumpscares. Shit sucks. Same with movies. But that should be obvious. If a movie, like mostm curret, horror movies, all they do is jumpscare you to death. Fucl that.

I wasn’t allowed to celebrate Halloween. Because. I don’t know. If I trick r’ treated, satan would rape the Jesus out of me, or something. I don’t know. And yet. Like, in the history of all time? Halloween is the most saintly holiday that there is, dude. It’s meant to be a day where you scare the ghouls, the… demons… if you will (Dusty fanst, you know who you are).

That’s far more saintly than coloring eggs to hope for better fertility. Or like. Worshipping a tree to celebrate a virgin birth. Or. Something. I don’t know. The whole Pegan/Christian thing… none of it makes sense. And I mean. It probably shouldn’t. Yet. Christians don’t give a shit about those traditions.

I would, obviously, get over the “Christian” concerns. Obviously.

But Halloween?



Shit doesn’t make sense.

Yeah. Sure. The 70’s-(especially) the 80’s and even into the early 90’s. And like everyone, Christians especially, were so God damned scared of “OH NO~! SATANISM~! OUR KIDS ARE SATANISTS~! IT’S THE DOG GONE ROCK N’ ROLL MUSIC~!”

Something like that.

Thie first couple of years where my parents, or, apparently, my mom was drunk enough to let me go trick ‘r treating, it was just me and my friend, Billy, wearing our nWo Wolfpac t-shirts. I might’ve had a wig? And I was Kevin Nash? Billy wore a Sting mask? I don’t know. Shortly after that, I learned my true purpose.

Another great Halloween. And like. I kinda made this Halloween awesome. My damn self. I’m just saying.

No matter all of this?

Traditions became damned this year. And it was a fucking tough thing to swallow. This year has been tough, probably even moreso than last, personally. But yeah dude. Maybe, like… just because of traditions I’ve experienced for the last… fourish years… But ehat I’ve come to realize about Halloween is that. It’s got a deep connection to family.

And. Jesus Christ. I just needed to make some green chili. Because that’s what I’ve known for the last four-ish years. You make green chili. You eat it to to warm up. From trick ‘r treating. From being outside, scaring trick ‘r treaters.

So I took my first stab at making green chili. Myuself. “Tonight.” I mean. It was like 12 hours ago. Because. Something’s gotta matter, right?

I dunno.

I still wanna say the five worded phrase. But it’s all a no-no thing. So.


I love Halloween. And not being able to celebrate it anymore is going to suck. A lot. Refer back to the no-no phrase.

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