The Drunken WrestleMania Prediction Blog (Vol. II)

Yup. If you’ve been following this blog for the past year. You’ll remember. Around this time last year. I did a blog with the same exact title (Minus the, “Vol. II,” bit). And although I am FAR from, “drunk,” I’m still drinking. So. The longer this goes on… the more instresting it will be and all that.

So… let’s get this bee started.

Maria Menounos and Kelly Kelly vs. Eve and Beth Phoenix

PREDICTION: No celebrity EVER loses at Mania. No matter how little their celebrity actually is. Maria and Kelly. Obviously.

 Kane vs. Randy Orton

 PREDICTION: Eh… given that Kane has one of the worst ‘Mania records this side of Big Show… I’m fairly certain they’ll be giving this to Orton.

Team Johnny vs. Team Teddy

PREDICTION:  No babyface team loses these ‘Mania matches. But fuck. Johnny Ace should have been off of TV a LONG time ago. Yet they’ve kept him on screen. Hopefully this will be the end of it. So… I’m going with Team Teddy. I can NEVER bet against my Santino. EVER. Not even when I KNOW he’s going to lose in an Elimination Chamber match. So. Yes. Team Teddy.

Cody Rhodes vs. Big Show

PREDICTION: Speaking of. Eh. I’ve heard this is for the Intercontinental title on some websites. But I don’t ever remember hearing that on the show or anything. But anyways. Cody’s probably gonna take this one. Since. They’re pushing him. For… whatever reason. And tragically… Big Show’s usually the next step to the main event. Which means Rhodes is gonna be boring me to tears and lisping his way towards the world belt(s) soon. BOOOOOOOOO!

Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan

PREDICTION: Much like last year. The two big title matches are tough. This one in particular. They really feel like pushing Sheamus all of a sudden for some reason. So… there’s a pretty good chance he could win. But overall… I don’t think WWE will break the mold and have two babyfaces win the title matches. Thus, I’ll go with Daniel Bryan.

CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho

PREDICTION: Kinda already gave the prediction. But this one too is tough. Jericho has been pretty much, sadly, irrelevant since he returned in January. A win here would definitely solidify him once again. Much more than anything else he’s done in these soon to be four months. But I really, REALLY do not see CM Punk losing this. So… yeah. Punk retains.

Undertaker vs. Triple H

PREDICTION: “End of an era.” That tagline to this match REALLY throws off EVERY predictor’s prediction. Last year, it was pretty solid that Trips wouldn’t end the streak. But that tagline… it really throws me off. Kinda. I dunno. At the end of the day… you’ve GOT to be an idiot to bet against ‘Taker at ‘Mania. And I’m not an idiot. Despite all opinions to the contrary.

John Cena vs. The Rock

PREDICTION: And thus comes the hardest decision of the night. I want Rock to win. I want it so much. Like. More than I’ve cared about wrestling in a long, LONG time. But I mean. In the grand scheme of things, there’s no real reason for him to. John Cena needs the passing of the torch. He’s never really got it. Sure. He’s beat greats. He’s beat future fall of famers (including one that is now a hall of famer even though he wasn’t at the time). But he hasn’t gotten that Hogan/Andre or Rock/Hogan rub to truly cement him as the top. And given that it took them until this past Monday’s Raw to explain Rock’s “motivation…” I dunno. It kinda furthers this prediction in my mind. It pains me to say this but… John Cena wins. Again. But if he does. I riot. In my mind. And I’ll be GOD FUCKING DAMNED if there’s not a “If Cena wins, we riot” sign. If their isn’t, I’ll officially start a petition to secede Florida from the Union.

 

(QUICK FUN FACT: I finished this next paragraph before I realized I failed to include Team Johnny vs. Team Teddy. Shows how much I care about it. Obviously. Hell. I cared more about the fucking DIVA match more than that one. And yes… the “three out of eight” bit was first “three out of seven.” This will make sense when you read the following:)

Overall… I said this in the other WrestleMania blog. But I’m really, REALLY looking forward to this ‘Mania. And I haven’t even come CLOSE to looking forward to more than one match on ANY ‘Mania card since 22. And hell. There’s three that I CAN NOT wait for. Sure. Three out of eight is bad. It’s HORRIBLE. But those three will FAR more than make up for the horrible pieces of crap that shouldn’t be ANYWHERE NEAR a ‘Mania card. But hey. You know. I’m jaded and all that.

Anyways… expect a “Drunken Viewing of WrestleMania (Vol II.)” blog in the next seven-eight nights.

Deuces.

#stayoutofharmsway

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