The Thing I Have in Common with Vince McMahon

Posted on by Ryan

Dudde.

I mean

Forreals \.

It’s WELL documented that Vince McMahon HATES sneezes. Right?

Well…

Uh…


TAKE THAT, VINNIE MAC!

But nah dud.

There’s ONE thing I have in common with the pinnacle of the wrestling industry. You know. Mr. Vincent Kennedy McMhon. Himself. And. I mean. It’s all kinda obvious. Really.

The generic list of terms WWE announcers are NEVER allowed too say.

No wonder “Becky Two-Belts” was so short lived, innit? Just. FFS. GIMME ASUKA OR GIMME DEATH at this point. FFS. Shit/ Who even is “SmackDown Women’s Champion” right now? Oh. Yeah. Bayley. Legit. Took me a minute to noodle that one out. Althugh it was nistntaneious for you, dear reader. Whatever.

Vince McMahon. Hates certain wrods.

And so do I.

That was, initally all this rambling was going to be.

But.

There you go. Rambling.

I HATE the word, “blog,” which I why… no later than the first year of even, “Ryan’s Drunken Rambling’s” I stopped using the world. And. Whenever I referred to my writings… I’d call them ramblings.

There’s a bunch of words that I hate using. Maybe/Perhaps are two of then, merhaps.

In ALL reality, I once saw, “Merhaps” used in an epidoe of Your Grammar Sucks by Jacksfilms many-a year ago, And I’ve loved it ever since. Much like. Back in like 3005-2006ish, I once watched an episode of Beavis and Butt-head. Something in The Mike Judge Collection. Beavis said something like, “I think I’m getting instrested in learning and stuff.” And thus. I continued to use the word, “instrest” instead of “interest.” Because I like it. And it’s funny. To me.

And… I mean… really?

I can’t think of too many words I use/don’t use/refuse to use off the top of my head all of a sudden. All’s I know is that hwen I initially intended to write this rambling (many-a week ago,) I had a number of them (other than “blog”) that I wanted to mention. But none of them come to mind.

And. That was the point o this here rambling. I have something in common with VKM. I hate words. VKM hates words.

Then.

Last week happened.


I’m problemattically, sick and tired of WhatCulture’s problematic problems. Especially since the dude on the right constantly contradicts himself by wearing a T-Shirt about “hating the British Conservative Party.” Problemy problematic.

But. Fuck. It’s the easiest way to digest some wrestkig news. I’m a cunt. And can’t even follow up with my own YouTube boycott.

So. Outside of hating certain words. I have something else in common with Vincent Kennedy McMahon.

I love myself the story telling abilities of Paul Heyman and Eric Bischoff.

Let’s start with the former.

I recentlty watched the ENTIRETY )of what I cared to) about ECW. On the WWE Network. Right? And. Following that rambling came two more parts and what not. Then. Immediately after I was done watching ECW, I moved on to WCW. You know. The company that created my love of professional wrestling in the first place. “Crow” Sting WAS my “Hulk Hogan.” Hate me. Slay me. I was a wee-nine-year-old future humble drunkard from afar.

I got this nWo shirt for free. Because. The WWE shop on eBay was dumb. They gave me a refund instead of answering the question I posed to them. So. Yeah. Thanks. Right? Thanks for giving me the opportunity to spread the joy I felt as a child, fearing this shirt, hoping for my hero to come and slay EVERYTHING this shirt represents. Right? Thanks for freeness. Although, I’d have GLADLY paid. Ya’ll were just too stupid with your automated responses.

And. Even though I tried. I really did. I tried COMPLETING a “binge watching of WCW…” thing… I just… couldn’t complete it. I got DAMN close. I think I was in October or November of 2000 before I gabe up on watching WCW. And. Sure. I should have, and probab ly still will do the rambling that WCW deserves. It’s just not needed right now. Wink. Wink.

I guess. The point is. Kinda. At the end of the day? Eric Bischoff MADE me fall in love with wresting in the first place.

Paul Heyman… would be a BIG part in solidifying that love.

So. I guess? Like Vince McMahon, I have a certain affinity towars these two dudes. Right? If vINCE didn’t have an affinity towards them, he wouldn’t have, essentially, but them in full creative control of his two flagship television shows. Right?

I mean. Dude. Here is just the LATEST example of me being on about Eric Bischoff’s brilliance. BEFRE I knew about him coming on board with WWE’s creative.


Right?

And.

I mean.

This is the best way to end this “defense” of Eric Bischoff (although, I’ll have one last thing to say afterwards).


So. Fucking. Brilliant.

I love this dude.

I don’t know why.

But FFS.

This is the dude that’s responsible for one of the most BRILLIANT )legit… NOTHING TO DO WITH WRESTLING… just… legit… most brilliant pieces of media I’ve watched in a long, long time…)


Really ddue. This is one of the biggest pieces of brilliace I’ve ever watched. It up there with Game of Thrones, Breaking Bad, and Wrestling Isn’t Wrestling.  In tat order. Merhaps. If anything, Wrestling Isn’t Wrestling would be at the top, not bottom of the list.

nd.. He’s now foing to be responsible for the creative/legislative )for lack of a better term) of WWE’s SmackDown. A show that’s moving to the LEGIT Fox network. Which. Has nothing to do ith Fox News. You dumb, British cunts.

Sorry. I’ve been captivated by rewatching this TedTalk.

So. I’ll stop.

Yeah dude.

Bischoff. Is a literal genious. I mean. Obviously, he’s not perfect. Nobody is. Cody Rhodes has an annoying as fucck lisp that I’ll NEVER get over to take him SERIOUSLY… as serious as he thinks he is… crushing Trips’ throne and shuch. Nah dude. Your lisp kills ALL things you say dude. I’m sorry. I’m petty and dumb. I admit it. But fuck you, Cody Rhodes. That doesn’t mean Cody CAN”T be the Trips to AEW as Trips is to NXT. Right? I’m just saying, as a performer? Fuck that guy.

Heyman kis Wrestling’s most gifted storyteller. Period. He made GOLD. Out of NOTHING. Legit. He made… GOLD… out of… )AT WORST) bronze when he took the reigns of SmackDown following the first brand split. He made SmackDown instresting. And… as much as he could. He made WWECW instresting. Until he couldn’t handle VKM’s love of big, sweaty men anymore.

While VKM is stil THE FINAL say today…

I mean.

Watch this passed episode of Raw. Tell me you don’t see Paul Heyman’s influence from top to bottom, dude. Forreals. EVERYTHING on that episde mattered. From the “borng” talk segments. To the main event.

FFS.

I’m LEGIT here. I can NOT stand Barron Corbin. At all. In my mind? THere’s NONE% redeemable about him.

BUT there was an instresting segment. With him. And LAcy Evans (someone who I believe has NONE.5% redeemable qualities.. hell… probably more than that.She’s FAR more instresting than Corbin. Sorrt forr cutting her short). And. Forreals dude. Merhaps it’s the way they were framed? Merhaps it’s the way things were paced? I dunno. But. For what it was… it was enjoyable.


Forreals dude. I just rewatched it just now. And. Again. Baron Corbin. Whom I believe is THE MOST boring “sports-entertainer” I’ve EVER witnessed. Is pretty damn good here. Merhaps… thanks, Heyman? I don’t know. But. Thanks… whoeever “producsed” this segment. Frreals. It’s an enjoyable watch.

Bischoff had nothing to do with SmackDown this week. So. I have no commentary on that front.

But.

I mean. Corey Graves said, uncencored on the live version of Raw, “Holy shit!” Which was cool. It added realism. Not “edginess.” But REALISM. REAL. GENUINE. EMOTION. Right? Like. You know. The only way Roman Reigns has EVER been “accepted.” Because REAL. GENUINE. EMOTION> Happened. Not “suffering suckatashes.” Not. “This is my yard now.”

But. Roman Reigns. Became Joe Anoi. Right? And he’s been riding that high ever since..

Heymn’s GREAT at creating REAL. GENUINE. EMOTION.


Right?

Eric? He can tell great stories. And he’s, obviously, learned from his mistakes.

As AMAZING as a prospect as AEW is about to be.

THEY… now has got some REAL competition in front of them. We’ll see how this all plays out. Undoubtedly. Thiws is… merhaps… the golden age to be a fan of wrestling.

RANDOM SIDE/LAST NOTE: Dude. I don’t know when. But it was somewheres in the yesteryear. When e-wrestling forums were “cool.” And had thousandish users or whatever. eWPlanet, EWCentral, or EWZine… (I’m guessing it was EWCentral). One of those. I became a moderator of the “wrestling” forum due to my love of SNITSKY~! or something. Anyways. This is earlly-mid-300’s. Right? Brand split’s still new. And I made a post. Something like, “Why Is Vince Ruining His Company?”

Bare in mind, this is the era where Raw’s dipping down BELOW 5.0 in the ratings~! or something similar. But all the rage was WWE’s dead. And, basically, I posed the question above. The point of it was, “Dude, he currently has, under his banner, the two mose successful people outside of WWE. Ever (Heyman and Bischoff). And he’s not even giving them a seat at the table.

Over a decade later.

And that freshman-sophomore in high school me, is rejoicing.

Forreals. All of the Jon Moxley buzz. All of the Jericho endorsments. All of the amazing matches featuring Omage and the Bucks in the past. AEW had ALL of these good things going for them. And. In one fell swoop. WWE’s like, “hold my beer.”

This is why, even above the greatness that was “the Monday Night War,” “the Rock n/ Wrestling Connection,” ALL OF THOSE are abut to be put to shame. This is going to be the golden age of wrestling.

Period.

Although. I’m not gonna lie. ‘Twouldn’ve been AMAZING had Raw, this passed week, given everything that took place during the main event, had ended with something along the lies of…

Right?

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