The Nerdiest Rambling Ever: My E-Wrestling Story Pt. 6
Closed Captioning provided by: THE eW Spot, eWscene and The Shoot.
REMINDER: I’M NOT FIXING ANY TYPOS BECAUSE I’M DRUNK AND IT WILL MAKE THIS RAMBLING MORE SILLY AND INSTRESTING
Eh. I’m going to trty this again. As of now, I’m not drunk. But I’m still keeping my typos. But I am drinking. And I’m prety sure that I will be drunk by the time I’m done with this ramlbing.
Jesus. I’m already typoing like all hell. Whatever.
So, Anteeownee and I convinced jae to open his own fed. Jae did the rest. He came up with the plan. he came up with the “World wide Wrestling Alliance” thing. I have no diea who did the original design. But we had a little something pretty decent going on.
We had a handful of decent handlers at first.
Trevor was with us at the beginning. he usued to run the “best three time try feds ever,” (as Antione dubbed it) hWo. There were a few others. Most of which that I remember didn’t actually joing for a while. I mean, later on there was Dusty and Kori, whoever handled Pat Dwyer, whoever handled Rey Campbell. “Bob” came on board to handle “The Maximizer,” a character that would just freeze during the middle of a promos and stuffs. But he later brought The Don in. But there was plenty of toherds .
But at first, it came down to me with Uncensored and Trevor’s character, Jack Owyns, in the finals of a tournament for the nbW title. Uncensored won. First time ever, (worth noting, anyways) I was the “World Champion” of a fed. So that was pretty awesome. I went on to feud with Maximizer for a month. Then I lost the title to Owyns. SOmehow. I think it was like a triple threa t match or something. I dunno.
By this time, I brought in Lunatic.
And here. I’m being a bad narrator again. Lunatic is the longest lasting character I’ve had in eW. Bill(y) and I have been handling him since 2000. He was based largely on Bill(y)’s borther, Christopher, when he was a little kid. Pher started “playing” the character when we’d do BYW and shit after a while. But anyways.
Lunatic was basically a combination of Chavo Guerrero (circa mid-98), Sabu and basically Eric Young when he was doing that “insane” gimmick a couple years ago.
Bill(y), when he was running some versaion of XBW, had Lunatic just randomly come down to the ring and take chair shots for someoen else that was having a match. He was always putting himself through tables. And just, generally, doing stupid, funny shit.
But yeah, I brought Lunatic into nbW. Cause I wanted to finally re-do the old storyline we did with him in EWO. It all started in a battle royal, Rey Campbell threw his elbow pad out of the ring Lunatic caught the pad and tried to protect it and hence eliminated himself.
Ov er the next few weeks, Lunatic stalked Campbell. He held protests with blow up dolls and manaquins calling Rey an “equipment abyuser” (no typo). This lead to their first match, a tables match, where Lunatic put himself through all the tables and thought that he won because he put himself through the most tables. Eventually, Loony lost the match.
Campbell burned “paddy” (the named Lunatic gave the elbow pad) in a trashcan. Lunatic lost it and their last match was a straight jacket on a pole match. Winner had to put the opponent in a straight jacket. Loser would have to spendtime in an insane asylum. Loony lost and spent time in an insande assylum.
Umm… Uncensored… I don’t know what I was doing with him. I think this was when keegan jumped in nbW so we could finally finish our story that started in TFZ. First, it began with Uncensored and Spike Saunders. Uncenosred discovered that Spike attacked him at some point. Eventually, Uncensored found out that someone paid him to do so. So Uncensored beat the shit out of Spike with a lead pipe, shoot style.
Maybe I’m being a bad narrator. But Jae brought something from ACW with him. Jae was a pretty big name in ACW back in the day. And like. Yeah. I guess ACW did “off camera” segments. Like, you’d get to see characters out of character. And he brought this idea with him to nbW. It was an awesome feature and I stilll love it. Even though it hasn’t been done since… well… I’ll get into that next time.
But yeah. The Spike/Uncensored blurred the lines of kayfabe. Uncensored beat the shit out of him with a pipe. Spike admitted that Keegan paid him. Something like that. Keegan also threatened Callie Urban, I think. I dunno. Whatever.
Uncensored then went on to befriend Ali Amore. Eventually, it was discovered that Ali was hired help of Keegans. And yeah.
Somewheres in there, I brought Dave in to have some matches with Uncensored. But that didn’t really go anywheres. I don’t remember what happened. I think nVc and Uncensored both beat each other once. I dunno.
Lunatic came back to feud with Uncensored. Only.
After spending time in the nuthouse, he changed. A lot. He was now calling himself Lucas Morgan. And was on a crsade to clean up wrestling with the “Federation’s Censorship Comittee.”
Basically… he was Steven Richards from Right to Censor.
And I know I’m cross-wiring shit all over the place. But I don’t really remember.
Umm… I know Uncensored fought Keegan’s “brother” John C. Willis in a cage match at some point. But I know I fizzled Uncensored out of nbW at some point. Luantic too. Then in 2006, Lunatic returned. But he was no longer Lucas Morgan. He was his old school self.
I think it was during this time, Dusty brought in the Blitzkrieg title. Lunatic won it. Then lost it when he laid down with the belt on top of him. And the champion was the title itself.
But mostly. Lunatic feuded with… I don’t even remember the character’s name. But it was handled by Richard Bone. Apparently, Lunatic and the character were cousins. And eventually, Lunatic and the character fought. Loser left nbW. Lunatic lost.
Loony would always flirt with the nbW interviewer, Cadence… something. I don’t remember. But Jae wanted her to be a lesbian. And the last time you saw Lunatic in nbW (at least at that time), Cadence slapped him.
Lunatic got ReJected by his cousin. He was ReJected by Miss Cadenced (as he called her).
This meant only one thing.