Humbug! A Tale of Bullshit

Man. I’ve been to Europe. Right? I’ve seent and been too the top of the Eiffel Tower, walked around the top of if, quicly (cause I’m no ffan of hieghts,). I’ve been to the big hole in the ground that is the Roman Colliseum. And such. Right? Hell. I even saw the awesomeness that is the often forgotten about, Florence, Italy.

I’ve seen the London Bridge. And, you know, it didn’t fall down, despite all lyrical evidence of the contrary.

I’ve been to Disneyland.

I’ve ben to Universal Studios.

Sure, both of those last things happened in the early-to-mid-to-late=90’s=to=early-2000’s. But stiill/ I’ve already one that shit. right?

One thing I haven’t done?

Is se something THIS beautiful performed in front of me.]


I can watch this video on YouTube or ShowTime, or evwn… CW… as much as I want. But. I mean. I’m POSITIVE, the bit would STIL; be FAR more beautiful to watch it live. “In front of me.” Right?

And. I mean. Pomp. Circumstance. Thungs! America is great. Beautgiful. This experiment, “can man ru;e himself” as it was put so perfectly by our founders.

Oh my Jesus. Yes. We live in a world where saying ‘can man rule himself” is WAY too controversil IN 2019. Of courxe when I say, “Can man rule himself,” I, absolutely mean, “can humans be governed by themselves?” Or whatever. Becausre. You know. PC Principal also exists.

I feel you, dude.

OK. Fine Let’s take America out of it. Kinda. Right?

I jus wanna see. In front o my human eyes. Something so perfect as…


Penn & Teller’s Bullet Trick.

RIght?

But. god damn it.

Here comes the bit that I JUST swore off, right?

Like. Things about how Penn & Teller are so awesome because.

You know. Jenny McCarthy sucks.


Dude. The GOVERNMENT should not MANDATE vaccinations. Like. At all. THat’s something that muy, here, classic liberal heroes don’t mention. At the same time. I’m sorry mom. I’m sorry, God. But being SO anti-vaccination that you create ranom measle outrbursts at Disneyland? Because you’fe youre know, either a citizwn living in America under the sanctuary of California bullshit. Or. You’re you know. A Jenny McCarthy religious zealout. Eitgher way. Kids should be vacccinated. NOT FORCIBLY. But common sensily. Right? Sorry mom. Sorry God.

Then. There’s you know. The whole reason why i decided to do this ram bling. RIght?

It all had to do with.

Numbers.


I don’t even rembemer. I was looking for something about Penn & Teller: Bullshit, and something to do with numbers. For… something… in my previous rambling. So. This her, is what started all of this.

THen.

You know.

Penn & Teller’s Humbug! Became so prophetic that. Like.

THis shit was made in, what? 2011 AT THE LATEST?!

But. Forreals. Just watch. And realize how relevant it is to today’s discussion.


Holy shit. This was, actually, a discussion back in lke… 3007 or so? How the fuck did we get as far as we havwe, right?

I mean. I could. Literallu. Spend the entire year shwing you clips of how awesome Penn & Teller are. At the end of the day, I’ll still just end up being jealous of the biggest supporter of this dumb, little ramblings things. That I do.

You know who you are. Halkum.

But.

At the end of ALL of this.

Let me remind you, dear, random, loyal follower of RyansDrunk.com. Something, I’m pretty damned positive I’ve mentioned time and time against sine the election thing tha happened some twoish years ago that I’ve sworn to no longer talk abougt. Right? This is. Basically sometig I said. time and time again. Forreals.

Let me remind you. Presidents have consequences.


Watch it. All. Forreals.

And.

For the record. Seeing. Being atop of the Eiffel Tower. Seeing the hole in the ground that is the ROman Colliseum. Seeing London Bridge. Shit. seeing the awesome view that is Assissi, Italy. Or seeing the artistic dream that is Florence, Italy.

I’ll forever be jealous of Halkum because. He’s seen Penn & Teller live.

SUCH ASSHOLE! MUCH I WANT TO KILL HIM!

Or whatever Amerika tells us. Right?

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