Dave Chappelle: Broken Bones

Can I just say real quick, I never, ever watched a moment of The Dave Chappelle Show. And, I mean, I doubt I ever will. At its height, in like, 2004, 2005, 20006t, all of the somewheres in there. I was a sophomore-senior in high school. And. It’s about the only pop culture thing people talked about. It was everywhere. Everyoe in school was doing the whole, “I’M RICK JAMES BITCH~!” bit over and over again. And I just couldn’t take it.

I love(d) Half Baked. It’s probably one of the best stoner movies of all time. Which. I mean. That bar isn’t all that much of an achievement or whatever. But fine.

An.d If I could say one other thing really quick. All of a sudden, “Cancel Culture,” has become a term. And. I don’t support this. I mean. I get it. And for the record, I, OBVIOUSLY, hate Cancel Culture. But I hate that as a term. Kinda like Vince McMahon hates pronouns. Anyways.

Since The Chappelle Show, I’ve watche d all like… near siz comedy special s Dave Chappelle has produced for Netclix.

Dave CHappelle’s latest comedy speciall dropped on Netclix this week. And. Somehow. All hell’s broken loose. In news media and what have yous. I mean. He really didn’t do anyrthing different from his last two Netclix specials. THe Age of Spin, Deep in the Heart f Texas, Equanimity, The Bird Revelaton. He did all of these things. ANd I mean. There was a bit of a backlash last year.

But. I mean. THis time?

Like this. Right?

Next thing you know, Dana Perino’s on Fox News with some random people tlaking about a comedy special. Because. That’s news. It’s… probably everywhere on CNN and MSNBC. Probabably. The breakdown of a CNN and MSNBC show’s probably goes something like this:

  • 10 mins: OMG! DONALD TRUMP TWEETED SOMETHING THIS MORNING! (Panel to discuss the tweet and call out white privledge and reacism)
  • 15 mins: OMG! DONALD TRUMP DID A PRESS CONFERENCE BEFORE BOARDING AIR FORCE ONE AND HE SAID SOMETHING! LET’S FIND A WHAY TO HATE HIM FOR IT!
  • 5 mins: Pop culture/meme culture story thing. Get a couple commenters to commentate on it.
  • 15 mins: OMJESUS! DONALD TRUMP TWEETED AGAIN! (BRING BACK THAT PANNEL! STAT!)
  • 10 mins: Uh… here’s something about actual political policies or something? (Who’s that ugly Democratic strategst that we all love for some reason? Bring her on and let her explain why this policy issue needs to go further left)
  • 5 mins: LOL HERE’S A LITTLE SOMETHING FUNNY! And then… Hi there, new anchor taking over the next hour!

And that’s it. Right?

So. In those five minutes. They’ve all dedicated it to Dave Chappelle’s Netcllix special. This week. Because. OMJESUS~! Dave Chappelle hates: Victims, Trans people, Chines People(?), etc. Right? Dave Chappelle is a racist, homophobic, transphobic, sexist, xenophobic, Nazi. Probably.

Because. Dude. Like.

No, man.

I mean. I mostly watched the special as background noise. Mostly. Right? But still. There were a few “belly” laughts in there, right? Just like all of his Netclix specials. Plus. Like. The dude has his moments where he’s like, “DONALD TRUMP IS A RACIST~! POOR WHITE PEOPLE ARE RACISTS~!” Jokes inth ere too. Right? And I mean. I’m where near the point of being like, “OMJESUS`! Dave Chappelle needs to be stopped@!”

Then. I found out. Through Andy Signore (who DESERVES a rambling in it of himself) that there was this “secret” “sexond special” type of thing. Where Dave answered some fan questions whilst in New York and what not. And did a bit more comedy bits. Right? THs is where we went forth with all the “OMG~! TRUMP AND TRUMP SUPPORTERS ARE RACIST~!” Stuffs. Either ways. Man.

This is the clip that’s made its rounds in newsmedia or whatever.:


Personally, if anything, I’d be “offended” by his first impression. Because. You know. It’s a totally ignorant representation. BUT. Still funny. Easily. But. Apparently. What said in this bit of the clip hee is the most “news worthy?” Apparently.

Right?

From there he goes on about how “celevrity hunting” is bullshit and whatnot.

One.

Two.

Skip a Few.

And we wind up here.

d

On the same night I watched (ACTUALLY watched, no background noise) the “secret second special” or whatever you wanna call it, titled, Epilogue. I also found a piece of brilliance available on Netclix, titled Colin Quinn: Red State Blue State. Which. I mean. I loved… mostly.

Colin Quinn is a thinking man’s (OH NO I’M SUCH A SEXIST~!) comediann… that… I mean… it’s no suprised CNN… apparently… produced this and… I assumed aired this show onn thier network.

The first time I knew about him. I just… randomly watched as it happened “live” (as in… it was probably months old at the time… but it was re-airing “live” or whatever) his HBO special Long Story Short. Which was a one man show… which seems to be his forte… about the history of humanity. released on HBO arouond 2012… I think? I dunno. Either way. I loved this special SO MUCH… that I put him at #5 on my “top 10 comedians, ever” list. Back in that year. On RyansDrunk.com. You can find it in the first book of The Drunken Diaries. If you want to.

Either way. Dude. I watched this CNN comedy specal. On Netclix. And there’s this amazing few seconds. This amazing bit of comedy that NEARLY outshines his “here hold this for me,” joke. And it goes… somethin like:

Yeah, it’s been really fun watching comedy become woke. That’s actually why I got into comedy: So I could march in lockstep with society’s contemporary conventions.

RANDOM SIDENOTE: I just wanna say. Netclix? Thanksd for being pretty damn awesome. As much as you’re hirig Obama to curate contend for you or whatever. It’s still fucking asweome that you’ve still included Louis C.K.’s omedy specials. Because. Dude. 2017… I mean… it’s one of the most quoted things I’ve ever… quoted. But it’s a fucking brilliant and beautiful comedy special. PLUS you still have a cpuple other specials in your library. Meanwhile, HBO has COMPLETELY erradicated Louis from its existence which is SUCH a sad thing. Oh My God was another GREAT special. Shit. Lucky Louie, the ironic sitcom, which was the predecessor to one of the best pieces of art on tellevision, FX’s Louie, (which… most likelly Fox/FX/Disney most likely COMPLETELY erased this from their playform too). Just. Thanks Netcix. For keeping the awesomeness that is Louis C.K. alive.


Thank you. SO MUCH, HBO, for erradicating THIS greatness from humanity. Hell that clip? It’s NO WHERE NEARS the best from this sppecial. At all.

But.

OH NOEZ~!

Dude.

I’m fuckking done with all of ths bullshit.

Obviously.

I’m done with 95.9% of everything having to do with the world. And I’ve been in this mindset since… I dunnno. 2017. And it’s all slowly… chipped away at me. Long story short is. I’m fucking done with all of this bullshit.

I don’t care what polls say these days. Donald Trump is going to win in a landslide. Or DAMN close to a landslide. Because man. Dave Chappelle, someone who’s NOT a fan of Trump. Himself even says, dude, Trump’s going to win. Andy Signore, not a fan of Trump says, Trump’s going to win.

Censoring comedy. Censoring freedom of expression (a huge debate about Colin Qunn’s Red State Blue State could be had here but nah). Freedom of speech. Freedom of thought. This is what you, the Democratic Socialists of America have become. I mean. The Democratic Party. Sorry about that. You on the left. ARE the “Mom’s Against Canada” South Park parodied in 1999. You are the Nancy Reagan “Just Say No” campaign that doesn’t work. You are the brownshirts that shut down public debate, thought, etc. And you’re, SOMEHOW going to be TOTALLY mindfucked when Trump wins. Again.

YOU’RE LITERALLY… Jack Thompson. You know. The attorney that CONSTANTLY sues video game publishers because of “video game violence.” Or whatever. You. THe modern left. Are tht person. Shutting down EVERY bit of thought/speech/etc. that you disagree with.

Dude.

Dave Chappelle’s special on Netclix, is fine. His other two specials on Netclix were better, by my estimation. But this newest, Sticks and Stones was fine. It’s funny it’s worth a watch. MORE than worth a watch. Go out of your way to watch it. Forreals.

But. You on the left. Wanna shut down comedy. You wanna shut down freedom of thought.

And yet. Donald Trump and his supporters are “Nazis.”

As Colin Quinn said in Red State Blue State:

The right can be a little bit racist and the left can be a little bit fascist. You can tell the Christians by their guns and the liberals by their suppression of free speech.

The left? Fascist? Wait. DONALD TRUMP! RIGHT! REPUBLICAN!

Waitaminute.

Thanks. CNN.

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