The McMahon Problem
Befoe I say anything. Let me just preface it all with these little tidbits.
I just now tried watching the full Double of Nothing pre-show, The Buy In. Dunno what happened to the YouTube app on my PS4, but all of a sudden, it stopped when we’re down to — I think Luchasaurus and Hangman Page in the battle royale. Final four-three-two. Whatever. Point is… the show just stopped. Like it was over. Most likely, just dumbness on my end. Not complaining. Nothing like tht. I’m just saying. I tried watching — what I can of AEW and couldn’t.
Now, as I write these words. I’m listing to Talk Is Jericho with Jon Moxley in the background.
And so the rambling begins:
When a man’s heart is full of deceit: it burns up, dies and a dark shadow falls over his soul. From the ashes of a once great man has risen a curse. A wrong that must be righted. We look to the skies for a vindicator. Someone to strike fear into the black hearts of the same man who created him. A battle between good and evil has begun. Against an army of shadows, comes a dark warrior, the purveyor of good. With the voice of silence. And a mission of justice.
Those words (of course, they were followed by, “This. Is. Sting.”). Truly were the worlds that solidified my love for professional wrestling. As a wee, little nine-year-old, future humble drunkard from afar. These words. Minus, a few things, “We look to the skies for s vindicator,” like such as, are so relevent. Today. Right? “From the ashes of a once great man has risen a curse.” “A wrong that must be righted.”
But. I mean. A man who is eight years passed the “Social Security” defined retirement age… probably should no longer be the creative force behind a modern company worth )about to be) $2,000,000,000, give or take. Right? Like. THere isn’t any sort of, even, DC multiverse, where this shit makes ANY sort of sense.
Dude. The guy can barely even perform the words he writes anymore. Right?
Although. To be fair. Vince did a great job at trolling the dirtsheets, WhatCulture in particular, with that “I’m a geniu~!” line. Like. Legit. WhatCulture lost their shit over it. But. I mean. They also lose their shit over… basically… everything. So… whatever.
Then. Like. Dude. THe “go home,” Raw before AEW Double or Nothing.
Mick FOley. Does his damned near damnedest. To make this shitty (if by no other standardds than the look of this thing), new championship, THe 24/8 title. And. Like. Immediately. Tbe crllwd burries it. Burries the segments. Everything. ll the while, Foley’s being the champ that he is, and he’s STILL selling it. Selling the darkness of the third hour of Raw. Selling how aweomse this new, 24/8 title is going to be.
But. I mean. Just. Batman facepalms all-round.
Dude. I haven’t seen my Asuka in… what… over two weeks? Speaking of Asuka. WTliteralF was up with her losing to Charolette, dude?! FfS. Dude. Tbe whole, “Becky ‘two belts'” phenomena was immediately killed after ‘Mania. So. Again. The fuck was the point of her losing and making the WrestleMania 35 main event for both belts? Jesus Christ. Just don’t have Asuka on the show. DOn’t defend the SmackDown Women’s ttle since you think so little of her. Just. Fucking. IF NOTHING ELSE… make Becky (overrated) “Two Belts” mean something for more than a month, right?
But then again, the mcMahon problm, he hates the word, “belt.” So. Of course he’s got to get rid of one of Becky’s ASAP, right?
This is the McMahon problem.
And. I’m about 2/3 of the way through this Jon Moxley/Dean Ambrose/Chris Jericho podcast. Whist Moxley, kinda speaks nonsense, cause his thoughts and words are ALL over the hell. Which, I mean, I don’t blme him, it’s just… WAY too hard to follow. I’m not faulting him at all, really. Just. Like I said. It’s hard to follow what the fuck he’s talking about. Right?
THE McMahon problem is:
- Wrestling. Professional wrestling is, and will ALWAYS be a subculture of “popular culture.” Professional wrestling will never, EVER, be mainstream. No matter how much MTV may have confused Mr. McMahon in the 80’s.
- WWE. For… off the top of my heat… 10 years (BARE MINIMUM) have been trying, DESPERATELY to make themselves some sort of “Disney-esque” corporation. I’m not just talking about the “OMG~! I LUVZ DA ATI2DE ERRORZ SOZ MUCH~!” kinda thing. See: “#1 on this list for reference.” I’m talking about how much EVERYTHING is micromanaged to death. Right?
- THE fact that )and, I’m sorry. Ypu’re humble drunkard from afar is advocating people losing their jobs but…) LITTERAL… BIT.. BY…FUCKING…BIT…BY…MINISCULE…FUCKING…BIT… of everything on a WWE show is written. Typed out. Written. Micromanged by a road agent…*cOUGH*… I mean… producer… and then micromanaged yet again… by Vuunce himself (and this is the BARE MINIMUM process)… Ya’ll realize you’ve become the U.S. government you’ve fought litigations against, right? Yet. You’re creating this red tape. For your wrestlers. Your artists. Your. Dare I say, Vince McMahons. By fighting the governing body of the WWE. Creating red tape for your wrestlers that DO NOT need to be there. Just. Dude. This should ALL be COMMON SENSE. For as much as the McMahons LOVE THEMSELVES some small government. Politically. Apparently. But.
- McMahon. Has. Self-governed himself. To death. Basically. Once upon a time. He created “the mega-powers imploding.” Which. I mean. “Created” s a… subjective term. Problably. But whatever. He “created” the attitude era. Which was a dirrivitive of ECW. So/ I mean. “Created” is kinda a dirivitive term. Sigh. This sounds like I’m burrying Vince, I’m not. Lgit. WITHOUT HIM… the whole style of wrestling, that whole… “WHEN A MAN’S HEART IS FULL OF DECEIT…” thing… without Vince… that quote of there would NEVER exist. Right? I… LOVE… Sports-Entetaintment. This term. That Vince McMahon created. I. LOVE. IT.
- But dude. This man’s heart. Has become full og deceit. It’s died. Burned up. And a dark shadow has falllen over his soul. The ashes of a once great man has lead to:
- The trouble is. Dude. Triple H. As much as it pains me to say this (you know, since I lived through the reign of terror).Triple H. Is. bascally, the only, remotely, hope. thing. that WWE has at its disposal. RIght? I mean. I’m me. And I lived in a world whre Jericho/Omega existed in 2018. Andd such. Right? I ean. I didn’t watch thT NJPQ match. NOr have I seen, basically, any NJPW match. But. out of my “top threw wrestling matches” of 2018,, Two of which haappened in NXT. The other was Asuka winning the Rumble. So… I mean… as mch as I don’t follow, tooth-and-nail NXT… they’re still, as of right now and available to be the “true alternative” as Nigel McGuiness was told to say on Saturday during Takveoer: XXV, for me. Since. You know ARW isn’t an option for me at the moment, right?
RANDOM SIDENOTE: Funny how I have no idea where this pasedt Take Over event took place, legit.
- The TV ratings have been plummetting, quite alarmingly over the past year. Raw alone has drawn the dreaded “lowest rating ever,” what? Five? Sicx? Seven? Eight? Time over the last year? So. I mean. Yeah dude. There’s obviously a problem here. A problem that no one wants to talk about or admit. You know. IN gthe world of the MxMahon Problem. Instead. We’re supposed to live in a world where ‘wild card rules’ and “OH NOEZ~! FORREALZ THIS TIME BROCK LESNAR IS GUNNA CHASIN HIS MITB~!” is going to spike ratings~1 MAASSVELY`1 An d such.
THE MCmAHON PROBLEM?
Is simply. Vince McMahon. The crazy bastard he is (RANDOMSIDE NOTE: Legit, I started typing the sentence after these parenthesis, and the through flashes through my head, “OMG~! I hope I don’t offend bastards. vince, himself was basically a bastard most of his life, I hope no one’s offended.” But forreals. Fuck people that are offended. Quit being addicted to outrage. You pointless cunts.). The dude that’s hell bent on runing two (potentional) billuins dollar compaies. In 2020. The dude that hates sneeses. The dude that hates the very thing he created. If not created than perfected. The dude that is… again… eight years passed the “Social Security” defined age of retirement.
But hey. You can be, even, four years older than that, and most youngish voters will flock to support your presidency. Just cause.