The EPIC Rambling of THE DECADE!

Dude. For the past… I dunno… threeish years? I’ve done some sort of “OF THE YEAR~@@!” Rambling. Right? But I mean. Legit?

2019? Sucked. A lot. FFS. There wasn’t ONE video game that I gave a shit about that was released in 2019. “OG NOE! ELYSIAM THING!” oR WHAtever that was. I don’t even know. Something about communism. Or whatever. I don’t care. Obviously.

There were TWO movies I gave a shit about that happened in 2019. OK. Two and a half when you count Zombieland 2. Or something. The first, obviously, being Joker. The second being. I mean. It should be obvious but. It’s Jay and Silent Bob Reboot. So. Yeah. OH NO! ENDGAME HAPPENED! Like. Dude. FFS. GTFO. OH NO! Far From Home happened! Again. GTFO. THe ONLY good thing about the latter was the J.K. Simmons scene. But. Even that’s fucking ruined by him announcing that Perer Parker is Spider-man. Ugh.

Oh and the former? The ONLY good thing to come from Endgame was, “AVENGERS…. assemble!”

FFS… is Cap holding Thor’s hammer there? Jesus Christ.

Forreals. Other than that. It’s just a parodoxical piece of nonsense that could’ve been easily done if only the heroes foxused on retriving the time stone.

So. Yeah. In movies? 2019 was stupid.

In TV? I mean. My shows were, mostly awesome. OitNB ended as beautifully as one could expect from the show. Always Sunny was fucking fantastic. Like it always is. BoJack Horseman left us on the best fucking cliffhanger of all cliffhangers ever. Those fucking cungts.

Jesus Christ. El Camino is up for 0 Oscars. Nor was it up for any Golden Globes. FFS. I’ma buot to riot in my mind right now about this fact. Even though I’m talking about television. Not movies. But. FFS. El Camino has ties to television, sure. But it’s a movie. And. FFS. How in the lvig FUCK does no one, everer, nominate Aaoron Paul for Best Actor for this movie? Ugh. Fuck ya’ll.

I’ll look forward to the cnclusion of BoJack Horseman. Because. Dude. It’s not a telling about how “aww, poor me, man, person.” BoJack Horseman has been. And. WILL ALWAYS BE a BRILLIANTLY thoughtout, well-written psyche piece of the Hollywood elite. Period. The end. Yes. BoJack is a relatable asshole. But that has no bearing nor will it ever, excuse the ants-to-mole-hill anology of the Hollywood elite that BoJack portrays.

Much. Like. You know.

Ricky Gervais did. So. Whatever.

Uh.. Comic of last uear? Probably Doomsday Clock. Right? Oof.  I mean. Batman: Damned has an arguement I guess? I dunno.

Uh. But yeah. That’s the point. Last year sucked. A lot.

So. I’m skipping the whole, “of the year” thing. And I’m jumping head first into the… “of the decade.” Right?

Which. I mean.

Head first. I mean. Swapping last year for the decade basically means this. Right?

So. I dunno.

Easily things easiest. The Witcher III: Wild Hunt was, obvioulsy, the video game go f the decade. I mean. There’s none% dispute about this. Is there? Sure. Red Dead Redemption II could sneak in there and be like, “Dude, we actually gave a shit to shrink horse testicles when you venture off into cold weather!” And I mean. Sure. RDRII has an argument here. But like. If you want to have that argument. So dos GTA V.

I mean. Undoubtedly, GTA V has had, probobly the most impact on the gaming industry since the invention of online connectibility. Right? The “ONLINE” portion of GTA:V opeened up a brand new world for triple a developers to not give a shit about producing “single player” stories and games. And such. Meanwhile. Rockstar was like, OK. I know we just created the greedy online markey. But Here’s RDRII.. And stuffs.

Jesus Christ. Red Dead Redemption II was good.

And I dunno. I’ve got no hate for Rockstar. At al. They made a forumla that makes HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS of dollars each year. And I can’t hate them for that. GTA, Online, while, it’s… obviously not for me… but I can still see the merrits of it. And how awesome that potential is. You know. And shit. I played GTA Online quite a bit on my PS3 and stuffs. So.

But then. Like. Destiny hppened. And there was basically nothing different from platfrm to platform.

And FFS. WWE2k14 is STILL… by my estimation and.. i mean… there’s only a small couple of games I could mention here that I din’t pllay this decade but… I’m still pretty positive that WWE 2k14 was the best wrestling game of this decage. 2l16 had a few couple of awesome features I wish were still present in 2k19. But oh wells. WWE games never foound their footing this decade. Especially in this “next gen” of consolues. Again. Concepts and awesomness happened. But. Nah. 2k14. Please.

But yeah. Witcher III. Merhaps, I spent more time playing Fallout 4. Mostly because I LOVED the bulding shit mechanics in the game. And shit. I purchased access to ALL of Fallout’s DLC expansions well before I purchased all of Witcher III’s. But uh. Dude. I don’t care. Again. MORE THAN LIKELY i’VE spent more time playing Fallout 4. But. EASILY. The best game of the decae is Witcher III.


Witcher III has such a deep connection to its lore and whatnot. Whilst playing. Again. I had NO IDEA about the lore going into this game. But like. I fell in love with everything. Every character. No matter the sidequesty nonsense they play, all had an effct on me. You know? They ALL mattered. So.

Uh.  Yeah. easily. Withcer III is game of the decame.

Movie of the decade? I mean. Merhaps I’m a bandwagoner. Or whatever. But like. I mean. Come on.

I’m even discrediting SO MUCH by naming this movie. Shit The Dark Knight Rises is a 20ish second scene away from being the best movie ever, by my estimation. Inception was also an awesome thing that happened this decade.

But. I’m sorry. The Irishman was the movie of the decade. Not only is it well wrrtten, well-directed, well-acted. But. FFS. The technologhy that was on displays, awesomely, in The Irishman, (BOOO THE TECHNOLOGY HAPPENED AT THE END OF THE DECADE OR WHATEVER! BOOOOOOOO!), i DOn’t care dude. The Irishman made technology awesome.

De-aging. Technology. Awesome. Period.

Sufe. You could say. Something. AKIN gto… Batman v. Superman made watching a “video game cutscene” in a movie cool. Cause. GTFO. Batman’s warehouse fight scene was like watching an Arkham game. And shit. II’ve been a HUGE propoent of “Eww… I wanna watch a movie, not a video game.” Type of thing. But. BvS reversed that script. Kinda. For the first time.

The Irishman basically flipped that script and made it beautiful. Atop of the great acting, writing, directing. You know? atop of those three things, The Irishman made CGI awesome. That’s what I was trying to say. The end. Right? Imagine a world where Godfather Part II and the Robert De Niro part could have been playhed by Marlon Brando. Right? The Irishman kinda proved that thatg sort of scenario could happen. You know?

Now. Television.


I loved everything. I think. From True Blood to. Breaking Bad, obviously. To. Fuck.

Game of Thrones

Dude. Long story short? There’s noting wrong with the final season of Game of Thrones other than nitpicky assholes. And yes. Internet Historians anfd friends of there. Their parogy? It’s funny as fuck. But. Stop it. The Game of Thrones finale was fine. And awesome. GTFO.

Best show of the decade? I mean. I found Always Sunny in Philadelphia this decade. Or whatever. And I mean. THey’re a CLOSE second. But. Stop it. THE series of the decade.

EVEVEN ABOVE THE BEST SHOW EVER (Breaking Bad)… even the awesomeness that was Game of Thrones, even the last couple of seasons. ABOVE ALWASY SUNNY…

It’s… BoJack Horseman. Period. The end. Bar none. Watch it. Hate it. Love it. Like I do. Then tell me. What’s a better television show? Who wrote characters better? Rick and MMorty for da emez?! GTFO. OitNB to prove socialism exists?! What? Dude. BoJack Horseman. It’s about to end in a few days. I guess… we shall see.


That’s MEDAIA thingsues of the decade.

So uh.

Politics. Of the decade.

This is a tossup. And. Obviously. They’re both basically the same thing. But for different reasons. Obviously.

An. I mean. THy both are the presidential elections of the years that happened in the 2010’s. You knoq.

One happened in 20212.

And oof. I mean. Read The Drunken Diaries books. The ones that matter. That are on Amazon. Right? At least. Forthe election in 2012. The other electioj? The one that I’m not allowed to talk about. Dude. That one. And the one in 2012. Are basically equally impactful. Both said “Goodbye America” for equally the same reasons in retro spect. And something about. “Charisma?” I dunno.

I’m sorry dude. But. These two songs. Merged into one. It’s funny how they apply to both Obama and Trump. Hrmph. I’m just saying.

Uh. Speaking of songs?

Of the decade. Or whatever. It was summer of 2018 when I discovered…

This amazing song. That I’d sing time and time again. Going to work, Cause it showed up on the radio back in 2018. And awesomeness.

And then… from there.. I discovered the rest of The glorious Sons’ library. And like. From “Mama.” To their AMAZING civr of a Kanye West song… To… I don’t even know… Let’s go to war on everything. Right? Beautifully.

It happened WAY TOO LATE. But fuck you. The Glorisou Sons were. Easily. The soundtrack of the 2010’s. Frreals.

And. If you don’t believe me. Let me tell you.

Through them.

Even though Joker proved that Donald Trump is going to win in 2020 in a landslide.

Let me remind you.

Everything is alright. Right?

Because. Dude. The 2010’s sucked. Even though. You know. One more year. That’s all I ask from you, dear reader. Is one ore year. I’ll go back t 1890. Afterwards. I promise. Just so long as you patereonize me long enough.

FFS. I should’ve mentioned more shits about memes. SOrry. I suck. I’m a bad narrator. As RDJ said. That one time. I’m sorry. I suck.


You May Also Like

1 Comment

Add yours

+ Leave a Comment