Me: Chapter Six – Wrestling Begins


Uihh… this is a good stop gap, I think?

This is a good place to begin something that doesn’t end. But began somewheres around the last ending and the next beginning? Something like that. So.

One. Two. Skip a few.

Wrestling, my dudes.

And. Welps… apparently, according to the search on… you know…, I’ve never ACTUALLY written, “My Wrestling Story” before. I’ve (just recently) listed all of the top tenniness, sure. And I did the whole, “I was there,” thing. Yeah. And I’m POSITIVE I’ve ate the very least alluded to all of this in other ramblings like my “Wrestling Video Games” series. But apparently, I never actually sat down and told “my wrestling story,” before. Akin to… youknow… “My Batman Story,” and such.

NOT AT ALL RANDOM SIDENOTE: The two ramblings I linked there are basically unreadable these days. So… Whatavery, as the upcoming best friend, Bob, once said.

Now, to be clear… I’m only 1000%s sure of ONE thing… and when it comes up, I’ll mention it. But before that happens…

Pretty sure this is the first…

My first. Introduction to wrestling. And I’m not sure whyu, at all, I “owned” this. Or… you know… my dad bought it at a pawn shiop or… however this game came into my possession. Shit dude… I’m pretty sure that the cartrige is sitting inside that box on my shelf righ now. Like… I know 1000%s sure (not that one) that I could’ve just taken a picture of the box instead of… you know… but whatavery…

Bob be damned.

Tag team wrestling. Right there. NES. DATA EAST! Or whatever.. Uh… I loved the game. Even though AVGN hated it that one time… but whatavery. I enjoyed it. When I was… eight yearts old. And uh.. yeah…

Phillip was around. He also had… some sort of afffinity with wrestling. But like… we never really talked about it THAT much.

And sure. I was over there, in Minnesota… in Kindergarten class… talking with random so and sos about how Hulk Hogan could pick up all of our plastic chairs with his pinky… because… we had to put them on our desks this one time…? Or something…? I don’t rememver why that conversation came up. IO also remember there in Minnesote when like… we were playing “wrestlers” in the backyard and I had to “be” Earthquake cause… that’s the only other dude I knew… and I thought his whole deal was like… he’d jump around and everyone would fall over? I dunno. I was Earthquake cause Hogan was taken. I mean… it’s not like I would’ve dropped a leg on someone if I “was” Hogan, cauise… I didn’t know anything about wrestling at that time, obviously. Whatavery.

So… I’ve got that tag team game. Thing there.

I meet another friend, person, that’s like…. almost directly behind my house but… to the left…? We’ll call him Brad. Brad will also come up in future ramblings. Brad and his dad and shit, even his much older sister, had an affinity for wrestling too.

And I think… almost positive… between eight and nine-years0old, I had a Sega Genesus. And boy oh boyo… lemme tell you… I was all about the more graphical violence that could be seen on that Sega system! You know! Like…

Once I got my hands on…

This shit…

Bruh… you pansies on the NES just had Tag Team Wrestling. LOLz!

You could grab a chair and bash somone over the head with it! PLUS! It actually had Hulk Hogan! Come at me bru8h~!

NOT AT ALL RANDOM SIDENOTE: Essentially, in case you’re not understanding, I’m still just being “Earthquake,” dudes. Nothing here is forreals.

Next thing I know…

It’s almost the fall time. And… somehow./.. for whatever reason… my friend, Brad, askes, “Who’s your facorite wrestler, Ryan?” And. On instinct, I say, “Hulk Hoan!” And he’s all like, “But! He just turned on his firned!” I don’t think he used the term “turned,” but. It was close enough. Basically… it was a much kid-friendlier version ofthat… that’s what he said. And… it blew my mind.

But uih…

Next thimg I know…

I’m in the basement. My lair. At the time…(?) And… I’m trying to find somethinf to watch. I’m flipping through the channels.

And I see Hulk Hogan. Glasses on. Black headband. “Ken Doll” look0-a-like having a microphone in his face. 1000%s sure of this. ANd Hulk Hogan is talking about… something…? (even though I’ve rewatched the episode of Nitro in question at least three times now I can’t pinpoint exactlty where all of this is)

But… DDP… that dude joined the nWo,,,? NO HE DDIN’T! aND i FUCKING FELT THAT SHIT DUDE!

Merhaps…. THAT was TRHE moment where I fell inlove with wrestling. Pretty positve the Hogan promo and DDP not joining the nWo ha;;pened on the same Nitro. This was also the Nitro where Savage took it over until Sting came down and “talked” him to the back. It’s also the Nitro where the Steiners had to give their tag belts back to Bischoff cause of Souled Out shennanigans.

It’s also the Ntro where Giant and Luger also gabe back their tag belts cause Bishoff said so.


I fell in love with wrestling. At the bneginning of 97′. With WCW Monday Nitro.

Sting. Became my “Hulk Hogan.” Edgy. Living in the rafters. Sting. You know. Kinda like Batman. But with a The Crow face pain. Quite literally.

And I mean…

Love wrestling? Hate wrestling? Meh about wrestling?

Watch this. Not even the “wrestling” portion. But watch the crowd. FEEL the crowd.

…and WWE’s current revisionist narritive is, “WCW NEVER had any emotionally meaningful moments! WCW is nothing but Russo on a pole match!”

Fuck. Off. Dude.

Hate wrestling. Love wrestling. Meh wrestling. You just gotta watch that. And you feel dude.

How awesome is that? Right?

If you can’t watch that and FEEL it. You’re even more emotionally damaged than I am. And you cry over like… geico commercials? I don’t know… That’s probably a bad anology. but dude. Come one. Luger beat hogan, bro! That sonummagun, Hogan!

As a nine year old. I was hooked.

But that’s just Luger, bruh. I’ve barely even touched on…

A man called Sting…

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