Dead Redding Too


dRed Dead Redemption II is a video game. Developed by Rockstar Games. Published by TakeTwo Entertainment. A subsidiary of… somethying. Probabluy. Most likely, that subsid9iary is like… News Corporation, right?

Like. Woluldn’t it make THE MOST SENSE in the woerld. That Fox News complains about Rockstar Games like, Grand Theft Auto, Red Dead Redemption (II), and such? Right. Like. Fox Nerws creates the controversy oif “violent video games, you conservatives need to ban them, cause, you know that’s THE ‘small government’ thing to do!” All the wqhile, they were owned by the same corporate master.

Wouldn’t that just be brilliant?

Or something?

Random rambling ended.

Red Dead Redemption II is. Without Question. A masterpiece of entertainment. I mean. Like. There’s The Godfather. Citizen Kane. The Dark Knight. And Red Dead Redemption II. In no paerticular oder there.

Dude. Threeish weeks ago. After I watched a vaudeville show in “Saint Denis,” I got on my horse, started to ride, and was taken aback. Because. Dude.

Even three-ish weeks ago, EVERYONE. EVER. Had already said that RDRII was a gorgeous video game.

I’m just showing it off. I guerss.

Then. You get into the itty bitties of it. Or. Something. Right?

Story of the game? Great. IF NOT perfect. Hell man, i BARELTY made it through the first playthrough of Red Dead Redemption, but like, even my BARE MINIMUM amount of recolection, had me grinning from ear to ear in some story beats, you know? Like… Bill Williamson being this unreliable drunk throughout the game. Or hoew illusive Javier can be in the story of RDRII. Or.. how Dutch van der Linde himself is… just.



Not in the nationality sense of things. But like. Those final words he says to John Marston in the final meeting in Read Dead Redemption. You know. Something along the lines of…

They’ll just find another monster.


Everything was wrapped up. Had a bow tied around it. And mader beautiful. You know? Even. Fucking Agent Ross is the cunt we all know he’s going to be.

Jack Marston is an innocent child whom, you know, has to avenge his father’s death in Red dead Redemption.You know. After you spend a couple hours in the epilogue of Red Dead Redemption II. Buildnig the fucking barn in whish John Marston will, be farted to be shot outside of. You know?

Biut dude. In the meantime. You get to milk the cows inside that barn. Clean up the litteral bullshit inside that barn.

Because. Basically. The whole epilogue of Red Dead Redpemtion II is just a HIGHLY graphical, like… third OR first person version of Farm Simulator. But. Done in the MOST AWESOME way humanly imaginable. Forreals.

So much so that, like me, you’ll spend HOURS completing John Marston’s Beacher’s Hope chores before you even think about starting a new game.

Damn it. I’m COMPLETEL glossing over Arthur Morgan’s bit.

And. I. You know. SHOULDN”T. Liike. At all. His piece of this puzzle. The fall of the Van fder Linde gang and such. And his part of it. With John Marston. With Javier Essuella. With Bi;ll Williamson. With… Abigail Marston… with… EVERYONE. it all matters. Right?

This game. Sucks you in. Completely. Hell, dude. I was completinh camp chores. Just cause they showed up on my radar. Which meant, “dude, you’ve got to do these things, or else.” Even though. You knowl. They REALLY don’t matter. Like. At all. Do the camp chores. Or done. FULLY UPGRADE THE CAMP immediately after “Chapter I,” Or don’.

Because. I mean. It’s totally possible to do so. Easily.

Hell man. Even in my secon playthrough, after the gold bar exploiting, after upgrading the camp as much as possible. You know. Within Chapter II. At Horsesu8e…. Overlook. I still complete some chores. Even though I’m doing my best to play as a 1000% outlaw or “dishonorable” playthrough. Thing. You know?

But. I fucing care about these damn characters so much that. Now? I’m trying to get Arthur drunk enough to discover ALL of the conversations with him inebriated.

Merhaps, that just tells you how little of a life I have.



But. I mean. Dude. You can randomly come across an opossum. That plays possum. COME ON. RIGHT?!

WAITAMINUTE! Rockstar was a SLAVE SHIP! FORCING THEIR WORKERS TO WORK 28 HOUR DAYS! OMG! WHAT ASSHOLES! Hybperboles. All-round. Obviously. But like. Come on dude. This is still. Some sort of “controversy,” to this day. Like. Legit. Rightn now. Google’s probably your friend. But like. Right now. I’m sure you can find some video game blogger/cvlogger person things thatr’s like,


I mean. If the fre market of th UK still exists. I’m pretty positive there’s nothing to “boycott” about, or even like… be remotely concerned with the fact that for a week or two, some people worked on Red Dead Redemption II, a bit longer than most.

You know. While they broke their backs. Sitting in front ofg a computere screen. Agonnizing the facrt that they couldn’t go home for an additional few hours or so. You know. Whilst at a technology conglomorate’s office. All that slave labor. FORCED upon them.

You know. If they even existed. Because. That’s in dispute. But hey. Let’s run with the story, AS JOURNALISTS~! That Rockstar are a bunch of slave labor assholes. Because we kinda, sorta heard so. This one time.

Must like. TYou know. We all, kinda, sort a heard that Brett Kavanaugh, career centrist, was a child gang-rapist. Or whatever. Right?

Isn’t post-moderniksm beautiful?

I mean. It’s no where near as beautiful a creation as Red Dead Remption II truly is. Obviously.

Arthur Morgan’s story. You know. like. Let’s say starting form the point where he gets tuberculosis. Or. You know. The Strouse missiom, thing that starts it off the diagnosis. And how. You now. Dutch becomes. Dutch. Being the charismatic gang leader that you’re willing to walk through the gates of hell for. You know. As a charactr.

To. You know. Ultimately becoming this asshole that thinks that YOU, dear player, are ACTIVELY trying to betray him. Arthur Morgan, consistantly is written as a “fair” middle between all of this. No matter if you make Arthur “honorable” or “dishonorable” through your playstyle and stuffs. because. At the end of the day.

He’s not a “monster.”

Dutch is.


It’s fucking brilliant.

Is Red Dead Redemption II THE pefrect game? No. Hell. Me being me. There’s WAY too much to be desired. But like. Story tellikng? Interaction? Graphics? Interperson story telling (or something)? Fucking EVERYTHING you could ask for in a single-player experience is brilliant here.

Hell. Rockstar has created a universe. Along the lines of what BioWare had with Mass Effect. But. Forreals. It’s jiust set here. On earth. In kind of America. Without other alien, humanoid species (for thye most part).

And. I mean.

Even instant karma is… included. Brilliantly.


9.5/10. Easily hands down.

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