The, “God,” Thing

Merhaps, I’m doing this ramvling because I’ve been listening to “Lithium” byu Nirvana (which is like, “HELLO BUDDHISM~!” right?) a lot. Right? (RANDOM SIDENOTE:  “Lithium,” also, bizarrely, kinda describes my recent date life. I mean, “shaved heads” and what not! COME ON!) And you know. There’s the lyric about “Becauyse I found God,” or whatever. You know?

But like. I don’t know how or why this happened. But a couple weeks ago. I stumbled upon some sort of rambing thing I did. And it had something to do with, “YEAH I’M DRUNK AND I LOVE JESUS A LOT~!”  I mean. I’m paraphrasing.

But still. That was the jist of the thing. You know?

And. I mean. Sure. The apparent Son of God, Prophet, person that Jesus was, yeah dude. I can’t find much fault wiuth the guy, you know? Love thy neighbor asyourself. Turn the other cheek. Things. You know?

Basically. Jesus’s message was, in a nutshell: Don’t be a dick. To anyone. Even the whore down the street. Throw the first stone. All of that. You know?

And all of that, TOTALLTY makes sense. Right?

Then you delve deeper and it all becomes, borderline psychotic. “Only through me will you be with my Father” and such. You know. “Wash your sins in my blood.” Things.

Theology is totally dumb.

Let’s do this:

  1. I definitely believe in some sort of “higher power.” Thing. Science at me all you want. I don’t care. The fact that if earth were slightly off of its rotation of the sun, making it a P#RFECT lkitatuib to sustain life an whatnot. Some random explosion of nothingness didn’t just make that happen, dude. Come off it.
  2. It’s like Trey Parker once said, “The silliest (relgion story) I’ve ever heard is: ‘Yeah there’s this big giant universe and it’s expanding and it’s all going to collapse on itself and we’re all just here. JUST CAUSE.’ That, to me, is the most ridiculous explanation ever. You know what I mean?”
    RANDOM SIDENOTE: Good Lord, do I love me some Jake Tapper.
  3. I was brought up in some sort of evangelical, “OMG~! END TIMES IS NOW~!” things happening. Sortof vision of religion, right? So yeah. MERHAPS. It’s just because of that that I find JESUS’S teachings to be, you know, pretty spot on. You know? All of the things mentioned aboeve.
  4. But hey dude. THe, “state of Nirvana” is reletivle close to the same teaching of Jesus.
  5. The Prophet Muhammed teached, relativel, the same things Jesus did.
  6. And the Jews are a thing. And they share a hatred of bacon like Muslims.
    So. You know. FGuck both of those guys. Right?
  7. Hindus hate themselve some hamburgers. Yeah. They’re off of my list. Although. I haven’t totally scrapped the idea of past lives out of my own theology. But still. COWS are sacred creatures? GTFO. Right?

So.

Instead.

I’m just gonna be me.

Me, the “I don’t know anything anymore, because it’s 2018 and NOTHING makes sense anymore,” me.

I’m not going to hate anyone. And I’ma do my damnedest to love everyone. Because. I’m pretty sure. That’s what Jesus “told me” to do.

And. I’m pretty sure that makes me more Christ-like or Christ-following, or… dare I say… Christian than, damn near MOST EVERYONE that subscribes to the modern theology.

But then again.

Catholics exists.

And dude.

I SEENT this shit. Right?

This creepiness.

I’ve been in the Vatican Vaults. I’ve seen the creepiness, seen above, that is “St. Peter’s Tomb.” Catholics, while undeniably Christian, are creepy mofos. Nor would, ANYONE in their right mind call them, “the church founded by Jesus.”

GTFO. Ya’ll were some creeper Romans thst felt bad for what you did to the early Christians. Thus, Catholics are forced to pay moneys for the sins. You know. As a tax. Because. You know. Romans perfected taxation.

Something alng those lines anyways.

As if Evangelicals are any bettewr. “Give us money so we can support our community! Nevermind the fact that I’m going to go on a Nationwide book tour to sell my book and such! We’re seriously starving for moneys! SAD FACE! Do you wanna know the secret to have Jesus love you?! BUY MY BOOK! LOLZ!”

Etc. Etc.

Thus. Again. I say. I’m more Christan than most anyone that goes to church every Sunday. And such.

Prove me wrong. Right? Or don’t. That wouldn’t be very Christian of either of us.

Unless you’re a “Donald Trump” Christian. And Jerry Falwell Jr. can call you the most “Christian President ever,” or whatever. Just cuaese. Sigh.

There’s DEFINITELY forces in the universe that we, as humans, don’t understand, nor will we — probably — ever understand. Those forces, to me, undoubtedly represent some sort of “God.” AND. Whether or not he was the “son” of this “God” or not. Jesus had his shit figured out. Pretty expertly. Or. You know. As reported by him or whatever.  Right?

That’s it.

That’s where I land on “the ‘God’ thing.”

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