I Think I Love Wrestling

I really don’t know why, exactly, I’m writing this. As in, I’m not sure, at all, what the catalyst for this rambling is. Sure every rambling I write here on RyansDrunk.com follow with my “bio” thing that has this quote attached:

Engaged in an on-again-off-again relationship with pro-wrestling.

But like. For the better part of threeish years. You know. Post-WrestleMania 31. I’ve SOLIDLY been in the “pff again” portion of that. You know? I broke whatever sort of rules ablut buying the WWE Netwoerk I’ve made numerous times now last August. When I purchased the subscription for a month for SummerSlam. I immediatley regretted that decision. Basically.

I brok thoes rules again in January for the Royal Rumble. And. Really. I’m not sure why. Like. I’ve NEVER been a fan of women’s wrestling. I just haven’t. Merhaps it’s because WWE’s groomed me into thinking thes way with the way Divas were always portrayed with a few minor exceptions here and there.

Legit. I purchased. On PPV. Survivor Series 2002. Yes. The first Elimination Chamber match was THE selling point. But. Lefit. I remember thinking Trish and Victoria’s first ever women’s hardcore match would be awesome too. Hell, had I not been in Europe that week, I was ALL in for WrestleMania 22. Another key selling point was Trish and Mickey James. For me.

Outside of those two instances, I’ve rarely, if ever, gave a remote of a shit about women’s wrestling. But I’ll “name drop” AJ Lee in there as someone I cared about. Just cause.

BUT.

This first ever, Women’s Royal Rumble thing? That interested me. I was curious to see who would pop up in as surprise entrants and such. You know? I, not only wanted, but NEEDED to know who was gonna win the thing. And such.

Low and behold, all of the “SURPRISE~!” entrants were featured on Raw the previous Monday. Or. At least. DAMN NEAR all. So. The surprise factor wwas pretty much COMPLETELY gone. But oh wells.

I was still glad to see Asuka win Rumble.

Because.

man.


Thjere’s something instresting sabout Asuka.

Not even the awesomeness that is/was A[ro; Brooks made me REALLY care about women’s wrestling.

Asuka? She does. For some reason. I think I watched one of her matches in NXT. Because. Low and behold, I don’t care too much about NXT. shocker shcuker. I know. Either ways, I knew from that match on, that Asuka was something special.

Her winning the Royal Rumble was awesome.

TYhen. You know. ERona Rousey happened too.

Whatever.

Look man. The thing is, I’m not sure, teuly, what caused this “love” for wrestlign to start. Sure. Apparently it was the Rumble. But like. Nothing I mentioned in anything I’ve written regarding this “hatred” of wrestling has changed. At all.

hell man. Brian Zane from Wrestling With Wregret basically spilledo ut ALL of my concernes I’ve been on about for YEARS way more artfully than I ever could.


And all of these problems STILL exist.

ALL of the problems I’ve ranted abut over the past threeish_+ uears still consist today. I’m not sure what’s caused this latest uproar inside of me.

But then.

You know.

Something else.

Of note.

Worth mentioning.

A few days after the ‘Rumble. I started watching, for the first time, like… watching episodes leading to the PPV’s… You know. “Episodic wrestling,” or whatever…


ECDUB! ECDUB! ECDUB! ECDUB! ECDUB! ECDUB! ECDUB!

And man. ECDub has been able to fill the gabs in EVERYTHING I’ve een missing dude.

They’ve got a tye-dye wearing group of bad ass clowns being introduced by some ugly dude thinking he’s the sexiest man in the wor;d (lefgit, man. Joel Gertner was fucking brilliant). They’ve got some Napoleon complexed bad ass mini Brock Lesnar before Brock Lesnar was EVER Brock Lesnar. They’ve got one of the most criminaly under-utilized dreamers in the history of professional wrestling. They’ve got a psychotic “Indian” person that’s just… an awesome “extreme” worker that can ACTUALLY go when needed too. Terry Funk’s in there every now and then being “Hey guys, I’m Terry Funk and I’m about to retire soon.” Then Terry Funk’s there like, “Fuck you Tommy Dreamer, you’re a bitch!” But that never materialized properly. But was still instresting nonetheless.

ECDub made Sid. FUCKING SID. The Psycho, Viscious Justice person. They made him MORE relevent than WWF couldwhen he fucking headlined Wrestle-FUCKING-Mainia the twoish years prior. `They gave Lance Storm a microphone. And Lance-fucking-Storm made GENIUS promos. On his fucking own.

And I mean.

If I get started on how brilliant…

This guy was in ECW…

I’d be rambling for a month.

Let’s just say.

Everythig I LOVE about Wreslting. Is on PERFECT display in ECW.

ECW made sure that you CARED about ABOUT wrestling. But they made DAMN sure that the characters and every other showbiz part of this form of entertainment was also given legitimacy.

I mean. Come on. Right?

That FBI is basically a PEERFECT blend of these two things. Gret wrestlinh. AND Great characters.

And I mean. No, dude. WWE’s FAR from being great. WWE’s FAR from righting all of their bullshit wrongs. I’ll never, EBER forgive the company for making Trips go over Sting at WM31. Ever.

But. God damn it man.  Wheneve I feel the need to”defend” myself as being a Wrestling fan. I’ve… for the past threeish_+ years have pointed to this video:


This thing. That Max Landis created…

Has made me cry/brought tears to my eyes/whatever moreso than any other thing in the history of ever. WASP’s Crimson Idol never had THAT much affect on me. The film Reign Over Me (something I’ve often pointed to as a movie that “makes me cry”), doesn’t bring the waterworks EVERY time.

This stupid. 30ish minute YouTube video. By Max Landis. Does.

And really. Ity happens after watching the whole thing. BNut. I’ll quote the section that always briongs the waterworks for me.

“The story goes on. That’s the thing about wrestling. It doesn’t end. But that’s the thing about life, too. And yeah, I left stuff out, but you don’t remember everything. Humans crave melodrama. They crave fiction. When you’re sitting alone texting. It’s cause you’re bored. Our imagination is our greatest gift. And our greatest curse. Because we’re bored all the time. And that’s what fiction does for us. It gives us a, sort of, bigger simulator for bigger emotions and bigger stories. That’s what Lord of the Rings is. That’s what Phantom of the Opera is. That’s what Goodfellas is. That’s EVERYTHING. It’s us watching and feeling. The human capacity for empathy. Through imagination. That’s why we have stories. Triple H is a great character in fiction. Told over two decades. A snob who had a chip on his shoulder that he could never let go. And just wanted to be the best. But never could be that without chating. Finally selling out to the point that if he can’t be the champion, he’ll choose the champion.
And that’s what you need, man. That’s what we all want. From Long John Silver. To Perseus. To Neo. To Walter White. We love watching people grow, change, struggle. Good people, bad people. We don’t care. We want to see it, man!
We need entertainment and we need it now! And when you watch wrestling, that’s what you get. And don’t get me wrong. A lot of wrestling? Sucks. But when it’s good? IT’S FUCKING GREAT!
Wrestling is melodrama. Wrestling is mythology. Wrestling is action. Wrestling is comic books.
The only thing wrestling isn’t.
Is wrestling.

Kabkowy, man.

What’s sparked my sudden love of wrestling, once again?

It doesn’t matter, dude.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *