12DoDM19 — D8: Watching of The Polar Express

Hey ma, this one’s for you. Or something? I dunno.

But basically. Here’s another movie… a more “modern” classic that I’ve never seen. I mean. Obviously I’ve seen bits and pieces and I know the general plot of the movie. But like. Nah dude. This will be my first time sitting down and watching it. Right? So. Fun times all-round.

Aothiner thing I do know, for sure. Is that the movie lives in the early-mid aughts uncanny valley for animation so. Uh. I guess I’f got that ti look forward to?




This valley? Just got uncanny. UP TOP!


  1. So… I guwss Tom Hanks is the older kid person narrating in rhymes (so far, rhymse anyways) and he’s the conductor person. Is he Santa too? As Mr. Peanutbutter used to say on his old show LET’S FIND OUOT!
  2. So the parents went out with the youngest kid. And left this one by himselfat his place of residence? Hrmph…
  3. Just admit it, ma, you’ve got a train fetish. That’s why you love this movie so much.
  4. Merhaps its just cause I’m watching this on a shitty TV but uh… I’m not noticing anything TOO uncanny.
  5. Sl… this train is for unbelievers or whatever. Right? Then WTF is up with all the synchronized musical happening? Or… what?

    Then my mom shows up. WIth her train fetish. Apparently.
  6. Just as I was saying there’s nothing too uncanny… Then the kids show up. In particular this black girl. Is that racist?
  7. He’s got a golden ticket! Stuff and things about Chrlie.
  8. Oh. OK. That’s right. Everyone’s going for different reasons. My bad.
  9. My mom, kid, is also very uncanny. So. Uh. I dunno. Buckly up buckeroo.
  10. Tom Hanks is sounding like Tom Hanks from Turney and Hooch. I’m just saiing.
  11. Stop it. No kid drubjs hot chocolate that is THAT hot. I barely drink coffee, now, if I see it’s still got steam coming off of it.
  12. So. Uh… manufacturing drama by losing the ticket and stuffs. Cause like. How much drama and plot can their be on a train ride that isn’t setin a western movie and stuffs.
  13. Uh oh. Throw Mama From the Train is about to happen!
  14. Tom Hanks is also the bum atop of the train. Hrmph.
  15. Sorry. I was busy googling the Batman Begins video game. Uh… appartently the bum and the kid are doing something on skies? I dunno. You gotta make some sorta drama appen on a train ride. Right?
  16. Cause. Like. I found out that there was a video game for this movie. Because it was the early-mid aughts. And of course there was. So I was reminiscing about the Batman Begins game. For… some reason.
  17. So. The black girl’s driving the train now. Becaus the kid lost her ticket.
  18. Caribou…

    Get it?
  19. And. Of course. The train breaks going too fast. Because. You gotta create drama on a train.
  20. Hope the kids on the train didn’t die during all of this. Pretty sure there’s no seatbelts and like they didn’t even get a warning about any of it. So uh. Hope they survived.
  21. Ugh. Sining is happening. BOOOOOO!
  22. And. Uh. Guess we’re in the north Pole now. So I said. THat’s good. One less thing.
  23. Ugh. Even more train drama has to happen. Even AFTER  they arrived at their destination. Ugh. No wonder you love this movie, ma.
  24. Now they’re off the train. Or whatever it was that happened. And uh. how much you wanna bet, another train’s gonna come out of no wheres to create more drama?!
  25. Wow. Nopes. They moved off of the tracks now. So.
  26. I bet Tom Hanks is doing the voice of the elve too.
  27. How dude? I’m only llike… 2/3 of the way through this movie. Ugh.
  28. Sorry mom, sorry God, but this movie’s going the way of Scrooged. I’m not enjoying this. At all.

    Aww… poor Shawn Michaels….
  29. So… this movie alledges that Santa goes around the whole world in five minutes? Oof dude.
  30. I mrean. I’m guessing. I’m barely paying attention at this point.
  31. Sounded like they were sining the New Year’s song… whatever it is… for a minute there.
    RANDOM SIDENOTE: Ugh. I think I’m getting sick.
  32. Yups. Tom Hanks is Santa too. Sorry for the premature spoiler from before.
  33. so. Santa enda up being the Wizard of Oz, I guess.
  34. Alright. That’s kinda cool:
  35. The Spirit of Christmas livs in your heart.

  36. Almost worthy of bringing a tear to my eye… given my emotional state… kinda surpriseded it didn’t.
  37. Cause like.. Oof dude. Kinda the whole reason I NEEDED this 12DoDM this year…
  38. I mean. I’m finding my Holiday Blues here. No doubt. It’s pretty and such. Right?
  39. Sorry dude. I don’t get it. Like… a big deal is made out their tickets and stuffs. Oh wells.
  40. Uh. Yeah dude. Movie’s basicallhy over. It’s Christmas day now. Stugfs. things. Words. Believe in Santa. OR ELSE?! I dunno. I don’t get this movie. At all. Robert Zmeckis person though, huh? Instresting. Anyways. Uh… Oh damn it. I see. Mom’s early-mid-aughts infatuation with Josh Groban. That’s why she loves this movie. I dunno.

Whatever dude.

verall? THe movie gets 1/2 uncanny valleys out of 5.

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