So. Basically. This is where I rant a bit. About all of the dumb asery going on in American politcs. Kinda. Don’t worry. There IS… a Christmas movie watching in here too. And. In fact. It’s happening first. But uh. The Chirstmas movie? It was made by TheBlaze. So. Uh. Sorry mom. Sorry God. And whatever. But forreals. It’s a parody of terrible Halmark Christmas moies and whatnot. So. Trust me. It’s fun.
Unless. You know. You’re a facist. An fun isn’t allowed anyore. An d stuffs. So. Uh Yeah dude. If that’s you. THen nah. This movie’s not for you. At all. And merhaps you can just skip this Dday entirely and whatnot. I’m pretty sure there’s a Socialists of America convention you should be attending or something instead.
By the way… if you want to watch this 14ish minute movie… I’m just saying you can find it here…
- oof dude. Glenn Beck doing a Ron Burgundy impression. It’s. It’s not good.
- Noelle Andersn doesn’t want to sell her Christmas ccookie shop. BEcause. Who wants to sell out for a cigarette, something and pork rind factory, right?
- LMAO… that’s right, During teh opening credits, e learn that Bradley Cooper, Miley Cyrus, Meryl Streep also star in this fantastic work of art. There’s also appearances by Ben Bernanke and it features the final performance of Hugo Chavez. RIP.
- lol… all those names were just on a TV as Noel was flipping throwugh channels.
- Thad bought Noele the biggest diamond she’s ever seent.
YOU HEAR THAT WORLD?! SHE SAID I GUESS SO! WE’RE GOING TO HAVE THE BEST CHRISTMAS EVER! LIKE A FAMILY! ME! YOU! AND MY MONEY!
-Thad. Person. 2k13.
- Godd. This is so bad. It’s amazing.
- The mayor is offering Noel $11m. So. Noel’s gotta decide if she’s gonna sell her business wihin 24 hours. Or else.
- “Umm… you’re not selling Christmas. You’re selling a meaningless collection of bricks and absestos covered in toxic lead tinsil!” Duh. Jesus, Noel is stupid.
I AM FAR TOO BUSINESSY FOR THIS! YOU HAVE 24 BUSINESS HOURS TO DECIDE!
-tHAD. Person. 2k13.
- Pat’s grandpapi use to say, “You know, if it’s all about the money, then it’s all about nothing.”
- Of course, when he was saying that, he was talking $1.38. Ugh dude. Pat’s the only star in this movie. His lines are all so quoteablit…
- Speaking of…
- “THIS IS $11,000,000! THAT’S LIKE JOHN KERRY WIFE MONEY! RIGHT?! WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU?!”
- Stu’s wife. Lisa. Person that does like celebrity podcasts things. She’s terrible. Oof.
- lol… Jefy’sa homeless person. Of course. Obviously.
- Jeffy’s also the plummer that Lisa falls in love with. And such.
- It’s not about the money, It’s about how dumb you are. I can’t marry someone this dumb. Unless igt’s a Kardashian or something.
- Uncle Billy, Pat, is back you know what that means.
- So. Her uncle’s grandpapi was also Jeffy, the oldest living human being on earth, because he was hit by a blonde woman with an SUV and left to die on the side of the road.
- But yeah… you know what that means…
No, stupid. How could you be this dumb?! i mean., that’s STU-PID! Geeze! I’m really starting to see wher your fiance is coming from you are stupid! STUPID! I mean, really dumb! Well, I mean, hyou are stupid! can you do it? I don’t know! “Should I marry my mean fiance?” Yeah! Go ahead dumby!”
- Noel’s got 45 minutes left to decide.
- Thad’s got a business meeting to go to! In the business world!
- Noel chooses….
- The Christmas spirt! And this plummer! With potentially no future! HE’S HOMELESS! Bugt he believes in her! and he believes in her store!
- Neol and the plummer fix the crappr. Together!
- Lisa can’t kiss Jeffy. Because. Who could, right?
- Noelle and the plumber hasd a very merry Christmas… until the plumber died on Dec. 26th of massive coronary faulire. Noelle was charged in the tinsel-related poisoning death of Uncle Billy… she was found dead in prison the following year. Cause of death: Choking on a pretzel butter cookie. Businessman Thad became the world’s richest and happiest man. Hw now owns the rights to the word, “Christmas.”
Overall? The movie get 5 pretzel shaped butter cookies that nobody likes out of 5. Obvioulsy.
Ugh dude. Some damn how. Some damn way. THere’s still like… so many damn people that are like. SOOOO excited that Donald Trump got impeached. Right?
And it’s like. THe fuck’s wrong with you? I mean. No. Don’t answer that question. I know what’s wrong here. I know it’s like you’ve been hive minded to believe that he absolutely needs to be removed from office because. Orange man bad. But like. Come on guys.
THere’s still WAY too damn many of you that think he’s ACTUALLY going to be removed from office? For… talking to a foriegn leader about American interests? WOW! Much high crimes!
At the VERY least… when Republicans had balls and tried to do something like this. You could KINDA say that the dude comitted perjury. But like. Ya’ll hae been obsessed with like colusion and corruption that, frankly, I’m worried about you. Are you starting to feel Alex Jonesy like your girl Hilary or something?
Legit man. I don’t get it.
I get that you hate the guy. I hate the guy as a guy too. He’s a piece of shit. But as President? The dude’s been. Not terrible. I don’t get it. At all.
But hey. Ya’ll have turned this legit Trump hater into a Trumptard. So. Good job.
When this all gets dropped in the Senat, like everyone with half a brain knows it will, don’t be crying like you were on election night. Speaking about crying on election night. Don’t be crying when the dude wins in the biggest landslide this side of Mondale.
Also, dude. WOuldn’t it be awesome if all of these states that, dumb assedly passed the whole, “NO! OUR STATE WILL GIVE OUR ELECTORAL VOTES TO WHOEVER WINS THE NATIONAL POPULAR VOTE!” type of bills have to fork them all over to Trump? I mean. It’s more than likely going to happen. So.
This world’s become so damn stupid. I mean. This country has. At least we’ll be able to hold on a little longer now that the Democrats have shot their load for no reason. And guaranteed a Trump win in 220. So. Whatever.
Although. I mean. For sure… the ONLY Democrat that has a shot at Trump and ACTUALLY winning? It’s Andrew Yang. Forreals. Because. I mean.
The dude is about as left leaningas Barack Obama. But. The dude gets it. Right?