The Drunken WrestleMania Prediction Rambling (Vol. III)

REMINDER: I’M NOT FIXING ANY TYPOS BECAUSE I’M DRUNK AND IT WILL MAKE THIS RAMBLING MORE SILLY AND INSTRESTING

Seriousyl? This was THE best that WWE could do this year? REALLY?! THE FUCKING BET?!

THE FUCKING SUPERCARD?! The FUCKING SHOWCASE OF THE IMMORTALS?! This is it? But yeah. It hasn’t felt like WrestleMaia week. At all. ranted, I’m in Colorado, and now wheres near New York/New Jersey. But still. NOTHING like WrestleMania weekend. At all.

But… still… tomorrow night/tonight WWE holds WrestleMania XXIV. And thus is the ‘tradition” here on the ramblings, I’ll do some sort of anual predictions rambling.

So… ere goes.

Tons of Funk vs. Team Rhodes Scholars and Bella Twins
Tons of Funk vs. Team Rhodes Scholars and Bella Twins

Seriously. To kick off this prediction’s ramblin, we get this horsehit?

Spernding my money on this ‘Mania does NOT sound lie a ood time. At all.

But umm… I’ll go with Rhodes Scholars and crew. WQhy? Because I can’t stand that idiot that claoimed Alicia Fox vs. Melina was her favorite match. Oh and The other two “wrestlers” too. Can’t stand them.

Chris Jericho vs. Fandango
Chris Jericho vs. Fandango

Eh… this is tough. Vinney Mac is so damn high on the gimmick, he may as well just have Fandango win thr match. Fangandgo is Vince’s new “Razor Ramon.'” FDor… whatever fucking rason. I swear, if I gotta watch that fucking dancing entracne thing that he does, I’ma stab some one. God only know s how rediculous it’s going to be tomorrow night.

 

Team Hell No vs. Dolph Ziggler and Big E. Langston
Team Hell No vs. Dolph Ziggler and Big E. Langston

Eh… I’m semi-interested in this match. I’m curious to see how Big E. performs in the ring. But I’m sure he’s going to duck. So uh… really… I don’t care about this match. At all. So… fuck it. Team Hell No wis. And for cunt sake. Can WWE drop the whole “Team” bullshit already?! Jesus Christ.

Ryback vs. Mark Henry
Ryback vs. Mark Henry

Fucking hell. Ryback. The end.

Wade Barret vs. The Miz
Wade Barret vs. The Miz

Funny how this is on the pre-show. But… you know… whateer/ Umm… this can o either way. And either way I couldn’t gia a shit about it. So…uh… The Miz wins.

Orton, Sheamus, Big Show vs. The Shield
Orton, Sheamus, Big Show vs. The Shield

Still don’t care. I’m just hoping Orton turns and becomes the leader of the Shield or somrthing awesomer like that. Fuclk you. The Shield solely based on my hopes.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Jack Swagger
Alberto Del Rio vs. Jack Swagger

As Ben sayus, ths is a throwback to “old school wrestling” where it’s America ves. another country. But this time… AMERICA’S THE HEEL~!… dun dun dunnnnnnn~! Fuck you. Alberto Del Rio. I don’t fucking care.

Triple H vs. Brock Lesnar
Triple H vs. Brock Lesnar

And thus beginas the WrestleMania of rematches. A rematch from last year’s SummerSlam, Triple H takes on Brock Lesnar in what i s this years’ better buildups. And still…. I don’t really care about it. Trips loses, he loses hers career. And it’s a No holds barred match. And shit. And fucking… Triple H oviously wins.

Undertaker vs. CM Punk
Undertaker vs. CM Punk

And… a rematch from yearts and years ago. Like… 2009 or something. I get the years 2008-2010 all conviuserd and mixed up. Oh wells. This match happened a lot somewheres in those years. And yeah. Even given all of that, this is the only atch worth watching on the show. It’ll probably be woth the like… $60 you pay for it. And it has the best buidup of the whole thing. Thanks to Paul Bearer dying. BUt you know. It’s a tough call. But given everything… I’m pretty positive Undertaker will take it. Even though, CM Punk really deserves the win. And I even said I thought he would on Twitter.

The Rock vs. John Cena
The Rock vs. John Cena

Annnnd… why so serious?

I mean… annnnd… to top it all off we get #TwiceInALifetime,

For cunt’s sake.

John Cena wins. Obviously.

FDuck this Mania.

Bye.

#TwiceInALifetime

One thought on “The Drunken WrestleMania Prediction Rambling (Vol. III)

  • April 8, 2013 at 4:35 pm
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    hahaha nice one twinkie i agreed with most of it and in my views – good on HHH for winning and fuck punk lol he sucks. its good to see cena finally at the top. GO CENA!

    Reply

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