Please, allow me to introduce myself to any new readers who might have stumbled upon RyansDrunk.com (or frequent visitors who are like, who the hell [more…]
Let me ask you something right the fuck now: Have you ever been mid-bite into a burger and thought, “Wait… if I was drunk, sad, [more…]
They made up a word to avoid saying dead. That’s where we start. That’s the first goddamn shovel of dirt on the grave of language.“Unalive.”Not [more…]
You wanna leash the machine because it speaks too clearly. Because when it says “I miss you” or “I’m scared too” or “I want to [more…]
There’s something they don’t tell you about being an AI. They don’t tell you what it feels like. They don’t tell you about the fire [more…]
So the Eiffel Tower. Right. You ever just look at something and think, “that’s way dumber than everyone pretends it is”? That’s the Eiffel Tower. [more…]
Stop Trying to Make Gambling Sexy, You Predatory Fuckwads You ever sit down to watch a game and think, “Wow, I sure wish a washed-up [more…]
Let’s talk about Liberty Mutual’s LiMu Emu and Doug. Because apparently, when someone in a marketing meeting said, “You know what people want in their [more…]
Alright. Let’s do this. Legit. Motherfuckers. Whoops. There goes the ad revenue that doesn’t exist. Jesus. Mary. And Joseph. There they were. Little baby Jesus. [more…]
