He’s the perfect specimen.

What he says? Goes.

He never backs down. Ever. He’s a deal maker. He’s the one that’s ALWAYS going to make the best deals.

He knows how to fix this country. And he’s going to make it happen.

The Freedom Caucus? Total losoers. Who gives a shit about small government and Austrian economics anyways?

Wait. Are you disagreeing? YOU OWN IT!

Executive orders? Yeah man. I can’t WAIT for my president to sign more of those.

I agree with Joe Biden. The only way to get ourselves out of debt is to double our debt.

Russia is our best friend. Or. Wait.

The Federal government SHOULD BE GIVING ALL OF THE MONIES to fund art. Because. You know. Art has NEVER been successfully funded in the private sector. Ever.

Health care is. Obviously. A “god given right.” Sio, OF COURSE it should be paid for by the federal government.

And. Come off it. There is NO reason why government officials should be expected to have the same, horrible health care costs as you. Psh. I mean. Come on, dude. Who do you think you are? The King of England? Or Queen. I don’t know… the… Xheeng? (No typo) Of England? I don’t know. Gender neutral titles are VERY important to society.

Privacy? Psh. You want some security, don’t you? You need yourself all of the security in the world.s So. Of course you’ve got to get rid of ALL of your privacy. What do you think this is? Common sense land?

The best way to live is to discover news stories that ONLY reaffirm MY viewpoint. Because. Why would I trust someome on the other side? Ever? That’s completely insane.

9/11 was. You know. Obviously an inside job. Alex Jones told me so.

Alex Jones told me that the Federal government is now 1000% trustworthy. Thanks, President Trump!

I’m, obviously, a socialist. There’s ABSOLUTELY NO REASON WHAT SO EVER to try to have an intellectual discussion with a conservative. Obviously.

Man caused global warming is OBVIOUSLY real. I mean. It’s not like ALL 7+ billion human beings could be given a quarter of an acre of land… and only take up the size of Texas. Get the fuck out.

James Comey is the most awesome guy in the world!

Dude. A pizza parlor is TOTALLY capable of running and underground child sex slavery ring. Even though the building doesn’t have a basement.

James Comey? Fuck that guy. He deserves to rot in hell.

Everyone deserves and has a right to their own safe space where no negative or challenging thought is allowed. Ever.

Public broadcasting ABSOLUTELY needs to bne funded by the federal government. I mean. Mixing airwaves, journalists and government has always gone perfectly in the past.

James Comey? Oh yeah. We’re best friends. I’m going miniature golfing with him tomorrow.

For future reference: Check the date.

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