Drunken Watching of… The Second Presidential Debate (2016)

Just like last time.

But a couple of new rules:

Drink when Donald Trump says:

  • Tremendous
  • Believe Me
  • China
  • Failed
  • Excuse Me
  • Bigly (or Big League)
  • Winning
  • Mexico

Drink when Hillary Clinton says:

  • Family
  • Middle Class
  • *Cough*
  • Women
  • Together
  • Fair Share
  • Billionaires

Drink when either say:

  • Russia
  • Taxes
  • Syria

Nothing else really needs to be said, innit? It’s just this giant douche and the turd sandwich debating. Again. Nothing too exiting, right? But. A QUICK reminder. I don’t have a dog in this race anymore. At all. I’m NOT voting for either of these two. I’m just watching this debate for sport. Literally. So. Without further ado…

  1. Everyone’s making a big deal out of the no handshake, calling the moment awekward. Wy? It’s not THAT big of a deal, is it?
  2. The fuck? The first question? The last debate could have been rated TV-MA? Jesus Christ. If that were REMOTELY true? America has become WAY too piussified. Thanks, safespacers!
  3. “Boy and girl, as well as every adult.” WTF Hillary? Dont you know it’s 2016?! Gender is no longer binary and shiitt!
  4. There was like six togetheres there in about 2 sentences, thanks Hilldawg. (6)
  5. Did Truymp just admt he’s a politician? DUN DUN DUNNNNN?!
  6. My take on the whole, “Trump sexually assulted women” thing? I just don’t care. Everyone on the right knew that this stuff was out there. And they didn’t care and voted for him anways. It’s just… dumb. Generally speaking, his statement on it – “We’ve got ISIS and problems, just ignore it,” is lame. But basically true. I don’t know.
  7. Second time Hillary’s quote Tocqueville. I’m pretty sure she’s just listening to Glenn Beck’s radio show now. (14)
  8. So. Rabbatz is going to be one of those “moderators” huh? (15)
  9. Jesus Christ. Rabbatz litterally just chastized the audience for applauding for Trump and didn’t give two shits about the applause for Clinton 30 sexonds later.
  10. Hoily shit. Trump DAMN NEAR won my vote with his comeback. If he wasn’t a lying, conniving asshole. He probably would have won my vote. “If I’m president, I’m going to instruct my attorney general to lok into your situation,” “You oughta be ashamed of yourself.” All that. Great counter-punching. (16)
  11. I’m pretty sure neither of these people know how the internet works. At all. Clinton had that, “cloth” gaff a while ago. Trump keeps refering to it as “the cyber.” And now apparently, emails are acid washed? Emails aren’t jeans worn by college students in the 1960’s Don.
  12. “Because you’d be in jail.” Damn dude.
  13. Although, it would be awesome if they talked policy. You know.
  14. Now Trump’s just being a douche about the emails.
  15. MC Donald. It’s kinda awesome.
  16. Jesus. I feel like Randy Marsh.
  17. And. Once again. Government’s going to interfere with private health care industry. Thanks, Hillary. And Trump.
  18. The fuck? Women were charged more than men for health insurance? Is this real life? (17)
  19. Um. Don. You’ve been advocating for single payer this whole time.
  20. So far, even Anderson Cooper’s being a douche. And he’s usually pretty awesome.
  21. Is “Islamophobia” on the rise? Really?
  22. Don.  Hillary Clinton hjas called it Radical Islamic terror. She actually will “say the name.”
  23. “If I were President Captain Kahn would be alive today.” Jesus Christ, Don. The ughs. Man. The ughs. Evben Hillary Clinton actually showed human emotion after that. Rather than her robot emoton. (19)
  24. The “Muslim ban” is totally stupid. All of it is dumb. Obviously. But HIllary’s just pulling shit out of her ass when she says, “What are we going to do? Give them religious tests?!” (22)
  25. “:At a recortd clip?” Huh?
  26. Rabbatz atually asks Hillary about being Two-Faced? Wow.
  27. Russia and Wikileaks are pretty obviously aligned. Congrats, Clinton. You said the obvious. (26)
  28. Something. (29)
  29. Trump just said Russia. I believe 10 times. In about 2-3 sentences. But the actual comment was, “She doesn’t know if Russia is doing the hacking.”

    Sigh. (39)
  30. Then he goes into a rant about taxes. Just. Sigh. Still. (43)
  31. OK. Don starts to go into a pretty awesome aregument about how she didn’t change the tax code when she was a senator because of her friends’ donorship. Firstly, Donald was one of her donors back then. Secondly. He confuses the argument by switching to, “you didn’t change the tax code because they gave you money to run ads against Donald Trump.” And. Like…
  32. And. Somehow. Trump brings China into the mix about American Taxes. Good job. (52)
  33. Once again. Hillary’s response is just…
  34. And. Even Anderson Cooper’s a douche. Attacking Trump about taxes and stuffs. (59)
  35. OK. OK. OK. Trump. At the beginning of this fucking debate. Said. About women, rape, things, Bill Clinton. “It’s all action, no talk.” basically. Now he’s chastizing Hillary for being all talk and no action about getting things done. Well. At least Republicans have learned the awesomeness of having it both ways the way Democrats have over the years. (61)
  36. “Well, here we go again.” Hillary Clinton is channeling Reagan? Huh? IS THIS REAL LIFE?!
  37. Trump is still an asshole interruptor person thing.
  38. Something else? (64)
  39. What's Aleppo?
    What’s Aleppo? (66)
  40. I was about to critiicize Hillary about the “reset button.” But she actually addressed it decently. BNot well. Not good. But decently. (77)
  41. RANDOM SIDENOTE: I am basically this person at this point.
  42. Trump. He just said a lot of words. Some were agreeable. Like. Iran deal nonsense. But he still dodges his own Russia connection. Because. Obviously. (85)
  43. Um. Don. There’s plenty of reasons to warn PEOPLE about upcoming bombing raids. Etc. This is not a practive of the Obama administration. This is the practice of America. Truman dropped hiundreds of thousands of leaflets before the A-boms were droppped on Japan. It’s not stupidity. It’s humanity. (91)
  44. Rabbatzis still being a cunt. And that’s not sexism. That’s factism.
  45. Then. Trump mentions Patton. And…
  46. Donald’s pacing is pretty noticable. Maybe he should have taken a seat? I mean. I get the whole, “I can stand for this 90 minute debate, and she can’t’ argument, thing. But. His pacing is pretty ridicullus. At this point. (92)
  47. Trump complains about time. Because. Reasons. (93)
  48. Hillary’s all about children. Obviously. And bullying. And safe spaces. Right?
  49. Hey. At least Anderson Cooper finally insterted his douchiness towards Clinton for once.
  50. Something more? I don’t know.
  51. Hillary Clinton rtespects the second ammendment? Then she just spouts off nonsense about “gun show” and “online” loppholes. Obviously.
  52. And then.
  53. This happened.
  54. And. Everyone is now dressing up as as Ken Bone for Halloween. MAYBE even me.
    And. Everyone is now dressing up as as Ken Bone for Halloween. MAYBE even me.
  55. RANDOMISH SIDENOTE: It’s pretty fucking sad. Ken Bone’s picture there was pretty much the easiest of all of the images I’ve found during this rambling. Just.
  56. Oh Jesus. This dude asks an energy question? OK. I suppose the meme makes sense then. Kinda. I mean. He’s kinda asking on behalf of like, “coal miners” and such. And that… KINDA makes sense. But like. I don’t know. Whatever. He also wants tem both to be environmentally friendly. That’s the part that makes sense. Whatever.
  57. “EEEEpa! EEEEEpa!” Something abiout Green Lantern? I think? The Simpsons Movie joke here.
  58. And. A joe about “Minors/miners.” (94)
  59. “It will pay off our tremendous budget defecits, which are tremendous.” -Donald J. Trump. (96)
  60. Hillary’s plugging HilklaryClinton.com like it’s the primary. I’m just sayin. (97)\
  61. Rabbatz: Mr. Trump would you like to answer that question?
    Hillary:Well, I-I certainly will.
  62. “This is not an ordinary election.” -HRC. But like. Isn’t this THE MOST IMPORTANT ELECGTION OF OUR LIFETIME?~! AGAIN?!
  63. “She doesn’t give up. She’s a fighter.” Sayas Trump. But. Like. I tought uyou’ve been saying, “she doesn’t have the stamina/. She’s not healthy. (Esentially) She will give up!” on the campaign trail? Whatever.

And then. That’s pretty much how it ends.

If I’m a ranom, Joe Blow, person, thing watching tonight: Trump won this debate.
If I’m a sane, “Let’s not be a total asshole, right?” thinking person: Clinton won this debate.
If I’m me. And I’m semi-knowledgable about this election and I’m looking for the fireworks for sport: Trump won the debate.

So. That’s that. Innit?

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