Firstly. Allow me to say that as of right now, I’ve only had two full drinks. Coctails. Whatever you wanna call them. I’m gnna have ONE more before I start delving deep into everything that I’m about to go into. Right? Secondy. I’m watching this debate on YouTuve. You’ll be able to “watch along” with me as I’ve, currently got the debate paused at 1:05:44, just like the video that’ll be displayed here. So. That;s cool. Right?
Lastishly, this is the only debate, most likely, that I’m going to watch. So. Hate Me. Slay me. Or whatever. But I don’t want to continuously watch “MAINSTREAM~!” politicians try to out Marx each other in order to save America “from the orange thing in the White House.” That just… doesn’t sound like a good time. At all. It doesn’t, currently, sound like a good time. And. I’m about to do it.
Second-to-lastly… I’m only watching “tonight’s” debate. You know. The… not-kids table debate. right? At the hieght of 2016’s primaries. Everyone made a laugh about how many Republicans were running. It was so much that they needed a kids table debate! And all that. But. At the peak. There were 17 Republicans running last cycle. Dems have got… something like 26 right now. 20 of whom participated in the two-night debates. So yeah. “Tonight’s” is what I’m watching. Since I’ve already watched the intros and what have yous. I’d just like to say: It’s cool that NBC didn’t make this out to be a WWE or UFC fight. Right? That happened A LOT during last cycle. Good job, dudes.
FINALLY… I’m going to be playing a bit of a drinking game during all of this. The rules are as follows:
- A moderator or candidate jokes about pronouncing (or mispronounces) Buttigieg.
- Biden says “folks.”
- A candidate turns a question on policy into an attack on Trump.
- Harris has to defend her record as a prosecutor.
- A candidate says a progressive stance is not socialism.
- All the candidates give the same answer on a yes or no question.
- Attacks on Biden tally more than 10, then take a drink after every five more.
- Sanders wags his finger aggressively.
- A candidate dances around whether they’re in favor of impeaching Trump.
- You have to Google who a candidate is.
- Gillibrand has to explain her shift in opinion about gun laws.
- Sanders calls himself a socialist.
- Hillary Clinton is mentioned.
Let us begin!
- I’m at Harris’ first question and I’ve had to drink twice already cause candidates turned policy questions into attacks on Trump.
- So. Gillibrand is responding to the “socialist” shit, right? And she mentions something about “the greed of the NRA.” Uh… how is a non-proffigt organization “greedy?”
- Andrew Yang is, basically, my favorite Democratic candidate running. And. The first question to him… only solidified this. Him and Butitieg. But. Yang’s MUCH better.
- Eric Swallwell person. I’m not likeing him. At all.
- And. Bernie’s done. Bernie’s destroyed himself. Campaign over.
- KAMALA FOR THE SAVE!
- So far. This is a shitty rinking gam I found.
- Bernie isn’t finger waving. Instead, he’s like… doing Trumpish hand movements.
- Marianne Williamson is… instresting.
- Jesus Christ. Eric Swalwell is the John Kasich of this race. Forreals dude. GTFO already.
- Uh… gotta drink. They all agreed on “covering undocumented political correctness!”
- Jesus Christ. This border issue topic, “kidnapping,” and all that. Is such dumbness.
- Williamson and Gillibrand both attacked Trump with policyness. So. Two drinks.
- “Children in cages,” ugh. I’m so tired of this
- Joe Biden just… semi-said (cause he stopped himself half-way through), “To compare President Obama to President Trump…”
- And. Eric Swalwell makes it about Trump. Fuck him.
- Kamala Harris is kinda defending her prosecutor. So. I’ll drink.
- FFS. They go to Swalwell. On “geo-political foe.” And. Waitaminute. He said Russia! NOT CHINA! WTF? Eric Swalwell.! The 1980’s are calling! They want their forieng policy back!
- Yeah ddue. Swalwell is TOTALLY the Kasich of this race. Fuck this dude.
- Finally! The Yang Gang is back!
- Fuck yeah! Yang attacks Trump. Without even naming him. Jesus Crhist. This dude is gold.
- Buttitgieg kinda attacked Trump. So… I’ll frink (total’s up to four full drinks/cocktails now).
- WAITAMINUTE… ths dude… talking about electoral college. During the commercial break.. just mentioned Hillary Clinton! TIME TO DRINK AGAIN1. Sigh.
- Sigh. “Systemic racism,”
- Hickenlooper’s on about some sort of thing about a shooting in Colorado? I never heard about it. Oh wells.
- And now. Reparations. Sigh.
- Eh. An hour or so in… and this is the first attack on Bien. so. I’m drinking. Thanks… KAMALA!
- I mean. I’m NO fan of Mitch McConnell. The turtle. At all. But. Like. WTF? He’s all of a sudden some MAJOR attacking point for Democrats? I mean. He’s basically a Democrat, as far as voting record and political stances arw concerned. The “WORST~!” thing he hever did was be a dick about Obama’s Supreme Court nomination.
- Gillibrand and Swalwell need to GTFO already. Peridod. The end. Bar none.
- “Koch Brothers.” Sigh.
- I,,, think Bernie waved his finger angrily during this “Roe v. Wade” thing.
- Ugh. Gillibrand talks out of turn. Again. Again.
- Ugh. Now it’s climate change. FFS. Bujle up buckeroo.
- And. Still… Andrew Yang has answered two questions. And has never tried to interrupt.
- FFS.. Ugh. Kamala attacks Trump. Something about… “Climate change is a worse threat than Kim Jun Un and Putin?” I don’t know. I’m sorry, dem, friendy persons reading this. But this is. Legit. Where I’ma tune out. Entirely. Kinda. So.
RANDOM SIDENOTE: I JUST now realized. Because. We live in 2019. And. These “Kamala” pics, tjings. Whatever. It could TOTALLY be misinterpreted as me being racist. Like. “OMG~! SHE’S THE ONLY PERSoN OF COLOR! SO OF COURSE I’M CALLING HER A SAVAGE, AFRICAN!”
Which. I mean.
But since we live in 2019. No. DUde. I’m not saying that Kamala Harris is a savage, African that wants to participate in canibalism, or something. I Just thought it was funny. To show the WWF wrestler, Kamala, wheneber I talked about her. Because. Kamala (they have the same name but pronounced differently).
Jesus Christ. I hagte this world.
- Hickenlooper is quickly becoming my second favorite Dem. Somehow.
- FFS. Swalwell is a cunt.
- They’re going-round. Trying to ANd giving everyone a chance to say, essentially, “What’s the FIRST issue you want to tackle as President?” Joe Biden attacks Trump instead. So. Drink.
- Guns. Goes to Swalwell. FFS.
- What are “assualt weapons” democrats?
- “Gun show loophole” doesn’t exist. GTFO Bernie.
- GTFO Swalwell.
- Again, Kamala, what are, “assault weapons?”
- BIDEN SAID FOLKS!
- Michael Bennet is nearly another John Kashich. Nearly.
- Again. Andrew Yang has talked… like… AT MOST… three times. Four if you count the “down the line” questions. Sigh.
- Andrew Yang followed the rules about “quickness.”
- Kamala wuth the win for quickness!
- Swalwell says something about diapers and Washington.
- Willliamson tirns policy talk to attacking Trump. DRINK!
- Waitaminute. Colorado’s one of the most “progessive” states in America? Before I lost my mind, I thought about it. And. Sadly… Hickenlopper’s kinda right. Ugh.
- No, Hickenlooper, we’re NOT, “The #1 economy in America.” GTFO.
- And. Andrew Yang has, again, been the best voice. In his closing statement.
- And. Again. Bernie ruins himself. In his closing statement. goOD JOB!
- “RACIST” “AND WHITE SUPREMECIST!” And… apparently, according to Joe Biden, Trump’s the first President to “thumb (our) nose at our allies.” Uh,..
- They ended the night with Biden’s monulogue there. Caushe. Of course they did.
- G00d job?
I’ll talk more about “This Democratic Field.” A bit more.Like I did about “This Republican Field” fourish years ago.
But. For now. Fuck off, Eric Swalwell. GTFO.