Drunken Watching of… The First 2020 Presidential Debate

Well, I’ve managed to steer clear of as many spoilers as I can. I mean, “Shut up, man!” aside, pretty much. But yeah, dude. I havebn’t watched the debate until just now. As I write all of this. So. Uh. Let’s try to have some fun. Even though, I’m pretty drunk as is… may as well try to play some sort of drinking game whilst watching all of this, innit?

So, here… I’ll take a drink every time:

  • Trump interupts
  • Biden says, “Man”
  • Chris Wallace debates Trump
  • Either candidate mentions (about the other), “lying/liar/lied/etc.”
  • Either candidate mentions, “covid/corona/pandemic/shut down/etc.

I’lll do my best to indicate (in parentheses) how many drinks I’ve taken as we go along.

Hopefull (or merhaps, not so), I’ll still be alive after all of this. lol

But here we go.

My. Drunken. Watching. Of. The first 2020 presidential debate.

Let’s do this.

  1. Immediately, Fox screwed up their debate on their network.
  2. Then, Dana Parino mentions, “our democracy.”
  3. Biden immediately doesn’t answer the Justice Barret question and pivots to ACA. For… some reason.
  4. All I’ve heard is how much Trump interupeted. Yet. It’s Biden is the one jumping in, interupting at the start.
  5. Now, Trump interrupts. (1)
  6. And he interrupts a lot. I’m at like (7(
  7. Chris is immediately debating Trump. So. (8)
  8. Honestly? I don’t hate Biden’s proposed public option that he is describing. Right now. I don’t. But Trump interrupts. And they both call each other liars a few times. So I guess this brings me up tp what? (13)
  9. Honestly? Trump, nor a Biden Presidency should have a health care plan. But. Whatever. I’ll let that slide for now. (15)
  10. So. Uh. I had to make another drink. This is my third now since I started watching. Biden said “man” you know the big, “SHut up man,” thing. Trump interrupted. I’m basically at (20)
  11. So. Uh. Dave and I talked about this on the podcasts that are gonna happen but uh… for some odd reason “the party of science” the party of the “anti-anti-vaxxers,” is now SO VERY anti-vax that they don’t want a Covid vaccine if it is created during the Trump administration? I mean, that basically what Karen, I mean, Kamala Harris, said a couple of weeks ago. Now, Biden’s echoing this bullshit? What? Do they think Trump’s back there in the White House, mixing tje chemical vials together, trying to create a bleach vaccine? (23)
  12. Chris Wallace is debating Trump about the vaccine now.  (24)
  13. Here’s a quick, how-do-ya-do.. or… something… To my Republican friends, especially those of you that have a KERNEL of affinity to like the views of Alex Jones and such. Donald Trump. POTUS. Your God King. Person thing. Just admitted. He has the military ready to go at a moment’s notice to give out vaccines. Yet. He’s the “Godly,” “not Anti-Christ” person. Hrmph…

    Aww… poor Shawn Michaels…
  14. This whole notion, “Trump knew in February how bad it was” and shit. Dude. Of course he did. It sucks. But the government has information that they don’t share with the public. Area 51 and all that. DUH?! Of course Trump, OR ANY PRESIDENT, EVER, isn’t going to come up to the White House Press Briefing and be like, “Dude, guess what, we’re all gonna die, that’s how bad Covid is.”
  15. And FFS. “Trump knew in February.” Fine. IN JANUARY THE WORLD HEALTH ORGANIZATION WAS SAYING THAT COVID-19 COULDN’T BE SPREAD HUMAN-TO-HUMAN. Get. The. Fuck. Out. Covid is a parasidic disease that no continent, no country, no cabinet, no President could have been 1000% prepared for. Get. The. Fuck. Out.
  16. Btw… I’m at like (26) now, I believe. Possibly more.
  17. Well they both said “shut down” like… 15 times. So… maths… I’m at (numbers). No… legit… (41)
  18. That basically killed this new drink I just made. Fuck.
  19. Dude. Both of these assholes Are contradicting each other. CONSTANTLY about masks. About how to handle social distancing. And all that to the point it’s literally laughable. Biden has the BALLS to call out Trump for telling a reporter, “Hey stay back! Have you been tested?!” Or some shit. Like THAT’S a problem? THe fuck man? The President of the United States NEEDS to be the best protected citizen, period. Hence. You know very weel, Joe, the Secret Service exists. Get. The. Fuck. Out. This shit’s so dumb. (44)
  20. The millionaires and billionaires are doign well? I mean, I think if you own grocery stores, that’s probably true, or streaming companies (aside from Quibi, lol( Where the fuck is that even coming from? Cause of some tax cut? (48)
  21. Dude. I’m already so sick of Joe looking into the camera being like, “Aww, poor you, dear citizen.” Fuck this guy. Oh… and also…

  22. Again. Joe Biden would TOTALLY have my vote if Michael Scott was his running mate. Merhaps that makes me racist? I mean, I’d ne voting for Joe Biden so… maybe I’m equallty as racist, right? You know, the modern, dumb definition of racism, anyways.

    I mean. Donald Trump is racist because he said, “Some of them, I’m sure, are good people.” So… if the shoe fits, innit?
  23. Oh yeah, an Im at like (55)
  24. FFS. Wallace just debated Trump again. (56)
  25. And Wallace debates him again about taxxes. (57)
  26. “Pays less taxes then a school techer.” Get. The. Fuck. Out.
  27. So uh… I need to take like 8 drinks. I believe so. (65)
  28. And like…. Biden’s son… thuings.  Trump interrupts a bunch. It’s gotta be like (70) now.
  29. And I mean… they’re still on about each other’s families. Trump interrupts the whole time. So uh… (77)
  30. Blegh… then Biden’s like “Blah~! I love YOU watching this~!”
  31. Jesus Christ. Wallace debates Trump again. (78)
  32. Jesus Fucking Christ. TRUMP DIVIDED PEOPLE?! Fuck. Off. (80)
  33. If Justice were TRULY equal in America, MOST EVERY politician would be jailed. Both sides. Period. But hey… the left have clung onto this “social justice,” bullshit. Because. Well… Read between the lines, innit? What’s needed in America is EQUAL justice. Not social Justice. Obviously. Again. Both sides need that equal justice treatment.
  34. Fuck man. Next debate? I’m chugging whenever Biden mentions Scranton.

  35. Jesus.
  36. Fucking.
  37. Christs.
  38. “Suburb” is a dog whistle?
  39. FFS. Bro. I’m basicalt done. I’ll keep watching. But fuck you, Joe Biden, left, anyone that holds the idea that
  44. I’m so fucking BEYOND DONE with this bullshit argument. oH YEAH,  I took two drinks in here. So… (82)
  45. Also, before I continue watching… lemme just say… if I were also drinking every time Biden interrupted, I’d definitely be dead. So. Here I was thinking that Trump was the only one that didn’t shut his mouth. But nah.
  46. Alright. So. (87) Trump’s interrupted a bunch. Wallace debated Trump in there. So yeah. I’m up to 87.
  47. But. Here it comes.

    This is the big one.
  48. Immediately, Wallace is debating Trump about denouncing white supremacists. (88)
  49. Trump said his… words… kinda… then Biden and Wallace both jump in there and they’re all talking over each other and FFS I wish I could visualize this. But. Legit.
  50. This WHOLE debate has basically been the scene from that montage in Anchorman 2 where all the talking heads are talking over each other, arguing.
  51. That’s what this whole debate, especially now during this “denounce racism” bit, has been. Again. Google. Bing. Video. Image… Doesn’t matter. Can’t find it. But. It’s a montage about how Ron Burgandy won the national ratings. And like. It’s his head with like five other talking heads arguing over each other the whole time. And stuffs.
  52. THat’s what this debate has been. And here I thought Trump was the biggest offender. I mean… he was… no question. But Biden did his fair share of interrupting and talking over Trump too.
  53. How the hell does Chris Wallace get away with this question without asking Biden if he denounces the violence caused under the guise of “Antifa” or “BLM?” And ya’ll on the left bitched that Wallace wasn’t hard enough on Trump? The fuck bro?
  54. But anyways. I needa do like… five. So… (93)
  55. Trump’s rambling about Judges and Justices. But uh. To circle back to the denouncing thing… I’ma just leave this here…

    So… Trump are you gonna de-denoun-… hrpmh… you did in 2017? Really? NO YOU DIDN’T! So… Are you gonna denounce white supremacists Mr. President?! YES OR NO MOTHERFUCKER?!
  56. “Trump caused the recession.” FFS.
  57. Trump’s a dumb ass trying to pivot to Hunter while Biden’s talking about Beau’s military record. Through out all of this? Trump’s interrupted a bunch. He’s debated Walace a bunch. So. Uh… let’s call it (98)
  58. Oh FFS. Forrest fires and climate change.

    For. Fuck. Sake.
  59. Then Wallace keeps debating Trump on climate change. Jesus Christ.(100)
  60. And… he, Wallace, KEEPS debating Trump. (101)
  61. And… he KEEPS debating. Jesus Christ. (102)
  62. Like. At this point, I don’t give two shits about Biden’s rebuttal.
  63. I think I needa take like three drinks? But. Biden said, “(Trump) says we should drop bombs on huurricanes.” I’ma look thiss up.
  64. So. Uh, “axios.com” reported that someone heard Trump say that. And CNN ran with the story. So…
  65. Need a couple of drinks in here, legit. Including a passive debate from Wallace. Let’s call it… (107)
  66. “Show up an vote! Vote! Vote! Vote!” Joe Biden says. Don’t vote if you live in California. It, legitimately, doesn’t matter. Your state’s just gonna give its electoral votes to whoever wins the national popular vote. So. Uh… Good luck with that one.
    And FFS. Colorado. If you vote for this similar type of law? I’m SO fucking done with you. I don’t give a shit. I’m gonna be a bum, drifter ass mofo if you dumb fucks in Denver and Boulder make this law a reality. I swear to fuckuing God.
  67. If you motherfuckers in Denver and Boulder vote “Yes” on 113,  you’re even more worthless than I’ll ever be. As a human being. Fuck you.
  68. FFs/ Wallace is debating. and debating and debating. Sigh. Let’s go with… (111)
  69. “This is not going to end well.” President Trump.
  70. Spot on, bruh.
  71. And uh…. at the end of the day? I’ma end up with (117).

This is a fucking disaster bruh.

Neither of these guys looked good.

They both looked like assholes. Like… comparing this debate to the 2016 election (oh no~! I’m not allowed to mention that anymore). You know… this…

Except. They’re both Giant Douches. AND. Turd Sandwiches.

We did it, America! We’re united! Finally!

Both candidates are giant douces. And they’re both turd sandwiches!

FFS. If South Park‘s “Pandemic Special” didn’t make this joke… then… legit… Matt and Trey need to call it a day. I’m just sayin.

Who won? Fox News? Merhaps? I dunno.

Who lost? All of us. Obviouly.


Leave a Reply