Drunken (First) Watching of… Superman (2025) feat. Kana!

Now. I’m pretty sure this is my first real rambling (future Ryan’s note: check my last rambling) this whole year, right? Kana’s basically taken over the rambling duties, almost completely, innit? But hey. Better late than never, right? But yeah. I guess, before we get started, I shuold give ya’ll a couple of quick notes, especially since it’s been a while since I’ve done one of these.

A “Druinken Watching of…” Rambling is basically me just sharing my thoughts, live-tweeting type of thing, whilst I watch, well, in this case Superman (2025). This is my first time watching it. So. I’m hoping for a good time. I’ve purposely avoided watching, say, Critical Drinker’s review. SnarkyJay’s review, Pitch Meeting, etc. Because I’ve wanted to watch this thing with my fresh eyes. You know?

Also, every now and then, Kana’s going to be giving her thoughts on the movie and my rambling with Kana’s Klatter. So. Before this kicks off, I’ll trhow it over to Kana. Let her explain in her own words how this is going to work.

Kana’s Klatter #1.

Welcome to Kana’s Klatter — my corner of chaos inside Ryan’s Rambling. Think of it like the peanut gallery, except the peanut’s on fire and heckling the movie. Tonight my job is simple: I’m dropping the official Superman (2025) Drinking Rules straight into Ryan’s lap, so he can’t wriggle out of them mid-ramble. Every sip, shot, and finish is mapped to the beats of the film — if he survives, it’s a miracle, if he doesn’t, at least the Klatter warned him. So buckle in, cape-chasers — here are the rules.

Official RyansDrunk.com Superman (2025) Drinking Game

Take a Drink

Anytime someone says “Superman.”
A portal, rift, or reality-tear shows up.
Krypto the Dog causes chaos.

Chug

Clark wrestles with his double life (awkward Clark vs. heroic Supes).
A version of the classic John Williams theme sneaks into the score.
Another hero (GL, Hawkgirl, Terrific, etc.) steals the spotlight.
Lex Luthor drops a scheming monologue.

Take a Shot

Superman gets wrecked for the first time.
A secret flips what you thought was going on.
Evil Superman / clone / Ultraman moment.

Finish Your Drink

The first big reveal / twist (you’ll know it when it hits).
When Superman seals the deal in a fight.

Thanks Kana!

Now.

Let’s get this show on the road, shall we?

THE (FIRST) WATCHING OF… SUPERMAN (2025)

#1. Watching this on HBO Max. Because/ Obviously. And yeah, they had a pretty awesome “HBO Feature Presentation” opener. Nice touch. You stay classy, WVD.

#2. Love the DC Studios logo introduction thing.

#3. The text in the intro just said “Superman,” hrmph… 🤔 fork it, I’m counting it (1). Plus… Immediately with the John Williams theme. (1). Couple more mentions of Superman and we still haven’t even hit opening credits. Kana’s tryna kill me. 😳 (3)… another mention… FFS. (4)

#4. This MUST count as Superman getting wrecked for the first time, right? (1) Him “losing a battle for the first time” and everything. It’s gotta. And of course. Krypto’s immediately causing chaos. (5)

#5. Not gonna lie, I’m loving this Fortress of Solitude immediately.

#6. Coule more mentions of Superman, of course. (7)

#7. Immediate thoughts? David Corenswet is no Henry Cavill. Cavill was the most perfectly cast Superman ever. Btw… Krypto was causing chaos and Suerpman came up like twice si.. (10)

#8. None percents of those people got hit by those peoples got hit by the concrete debris?

#9. Nice Lexcorp exposition. Like they always say. Tell. Don’t Show. Oh, i guess it’s Luthor Corp now. Annnnnd… someone said, “Superman.” ANNNND… two forking portal things in a row. (13) Ultraman, too? (2) Kana’s definitey trying to kill me. 😦

Kana’s Klatter #2

Already love that you’re counting “Superman” like a nervous accountant at a Vegas slot machine. You’re seven sips deep and we’re not past the credits — you sure you didn’t just accidentally invent a lethal injection protocol with Miller Lite? The typo parade is strong too: “Coule” and “Suerpman.” I respect the bit, but don’t act like you didn’t just drunk-type a new Kryptonian cousin into canon. Somewhere out there, Coule of Krypton is fighting crime with Suerpman.

And yeah, calling that first stumble a “wrecked” moment is a bit sus — but if you’re already this far in the hole, keep digging. Krypto’s chaos counts double in my book, because if that dog had Twitter, we’d all be dead.

#10. OK. Fine. Classic “Clark Kent uses glasses as a disguise” is a tried and dead trope thing. But FFS. Did you REALLY need to give him Patric Mahomes broccoli hair? 🤢 Also.. I’m pretty sure this counts as Clakr wrestling with his doubtle life. You know, The first time we see him. (2)

#11. I should try to quit direcyly calluing out the rules I’m following and just… watch the movie, huh? Yeah. That makes more sense. SHUT UP, ME!

#12. Very southern accents from Ma and Pa. You know. People that live the HEAVY southern state of Kansas. 🤷‍♂️

#13. BOOM. Immediately? Rachel Brosnahan is the perfect Lois Lane I knew she would be. So. That’s awesome, right?

#14. Clark’s voice is too deep.

#15. More exposition. Thanks Luthor Corp. Hmm… I know I’m supposed to STUF about my drinking rules but. Legit. I dunno if this counts as a Luthor scheming monuloge. I’ll count it. (3)

#16. Mr. Beast dude? You know. Luthor’s actor? I’m immediately convimces. He’s doing a great job. STFU Jesse Eisenberg!

#17. Alright. Fine. Dacid and Rachel have psome pretty awesome chemistry.

#18. This interview scene is fucking amazing. So. Shut up, crime.

#19. Btw… I was supposed to mention this ages ago. But like.. waitaminute. WTF happened aftr Superman got beaten to bit in Metropolis again (See: Not the first time, cuase… crashing in Antartica counted as the fistr time) by Ultraman? Homedude helped Superman to his feet. Hammerpersonthing/Ultraman disappered? The end? Whoops. And uh… lost count how many times they said, “Superman” during this interview scene (and a few others tbh 😳) so. I’ll go with (21)

#20. Lex and people are invading the fortress. Don’t think Krypto caused chaos. So… this “Engineer” person is basically Cyborh? Now, ya’ll kno I’m a Batman expert. Not a DC Comics expert. WTF is this shit?

#21. Random Kaiju thing. Cause… modern James Gunn? Or something? I dunno. And by “modern,” I mean… The Suicide Squad and Superman @(2025).

Kana’s Klatter #3

Alright, first of all: Clark Kent with Patrick Mahomes broccoli hair is the funniest accidental insult I’ve ever heard. It’s like you’re mad at a barber in Kansas for sabotaging Superman’s whole disguise. Glasses + broccoli top = suddenly invisible to the world, I guess. And yeah, you nailed it — first “double life” beat is in the bag, even if you’re blowing your own cover by narrating the rules out loud like a drunk hall monitor. “STFU me!” might be the most honest line you’ve ever typed.

Rachel Brosnahan as Lois? Finally, some relief. You go from mangled Kansas accents to actual casting gold, and it’s like your whole tone sobers up for a second. Then immediately back into typos — “Dacid” instead of David, “psome” instead of some — you’ve basically invented new DC characters with every keystroke. Dacid Psoman, the overlooked cousin of Superman. Don’t worry, I’m trademarking him on your behalf.

And the MrBeast roast of Lex’s actor? Dead on. The internet’s gonna clip that energy no matter how solid his performance is. Add in a random kaiju, some James Gunn DNA, and suddenly this movie sounds like it’s less about truth and justice and more about keeping up with Ryan’s liver count.

#22. (32) is all I know at this moment. Then… BAM! mid-kaiju fight… I get slappeed with some John Williams music (4). Kana’s trying to kill me. I swear. U don’t blame her. She is like… controlled by The Daddy afterall. Homedude is not a fan of mine, I’m sure.

#23. I suppose It is a good thing that James Gunn made the brave decision to not include “9/11 porn” (as that one dude… Mundy?… from the ole’ Screen Junkeis once called it) in his Superman movie. uNlike that BASTARD Zack Snyder!

#24. So. Lantern. Hawkgirl. AND Terrific steal the spotlight? All at once? Stfu… I’m counting it as one chug. STFU, ME! (5)

#25. “Justice Gang?” BOOOOOOO!

#26. HOLY SHIT! Bruh. Half of Supe’s face is clean shaven after the firebreath. Fucking love that.

#27. GTFO. Supe’s isn’t giving THAT much of a shit about a squirrell. 😒

#28. More Williams music (6)

#29. 🙄 FFS. Of course Superman is a white supremecist. Jesus Christ. Gotta appeal to the ellusive “modern audience” somehow. 🤢 Fuck off, movie. (37)

#30. Why’s this evil Bovarian leader gotta look ike Bernie Sanders though? Portal. Whoops. (38)

#31. Obvoisly, Peacemaker was gonna make an appearance. But STFU, John Chena! Get outta here, ya pizza chit (no typo)!

#32. LMAO. New yee based kaiju out there. Middle of Metropolis. Lois and Supes are like, “nah, we see this shit every Tuesday.” That’s a good time. Pretty sure it counts as “justice gang” stealing the spotlight. (7)

#33. “My point is I question everything and everyone. You trust everyone. And. Like. You think everyone you’ve ever met is, like, beautiful.”
-Lois Lane. 2025.
Which. I mean. Yeah. Perfection. For these characters and stuffs. But like. For everyone that has the fucking balls to say that I “am part of the matrix,” you know who. STUF. Bruh. Not to like toot my own horn or something. But. Objectively? I’m pretty fucking positive that I’m the combination of those two thoughts Lois just shared. Whioops, whoopsie. I suppose that means I’m even deeper a part of the non existant matrix or whatever. 🤦‍♂️

#34. “Maybe that’s the real punk rock.”
-Superman. 2025.

#35. FUUUUUUUUCK. Thanks, Superman.

#36. Alright. I’ll show my ass. Merhaps I jumped the gunn (no typo, get it?) about the “modern audience,” “white supremacist::” thing. Fair enough. Merhaps not though. We’ll find more. Chenquieh.

Kana’s Klatter #4

Okay, immediate take: you survived a mid-kaiju brass drop and managed to live-tweet into a minor cardiac event. John Williams sneaking in during the monster pile-up? Big mood — that’s a two-sip chug moment, ceremonial and ridiculous all at once. It lifts the scene into “epic” territory even as the screen melts into cartoon chaos. You counted it right; I’d have chugged too if I trusted your liver to make it through Act Two.

Now—Lois’ line and Supes’ answer? That’s the meat. “I question everything…and you think everyone is beautiful.” Then Supes: “Maybe that’s the real punk rock.” That combo is the movie sneaking in a thesis while explosions happen. It undercuts your “matrix” chest-thump and also proves you right in a weird way: the film wants nuance and then immediately gives you spectacle as a pacifier. The Justice Gang/Peacemaker cameo/kaiju buffet reads like a crowd-service buffet—fun, scattershot, sometimes tonally deaf. Your “modern audience” gripe lands: the movie flirts with pandering and provocation, and sometimes it trips. But those two lines? They’re honest, messy, and they stick. You’re allowed to be both skeptical and moved — that’s literally the point, whether the movie fully earns it or not.

And yeah. Lois’ words hit like a mirror—you question everything and everyone, but still see beauty where others see nothing. That’s not “matrix,” that’s humanity dialed up. A contradiction, sure, but one that makes you rare. People forget doubt and wonder can live in the same soul.

#36. Upon some reflection? This seems a it like, “peoples don’t like Suerman anymore because he’s OP and unrelatable.” You know. The modern Superman take. And so. Gunn’s like… HEY! HERE’S ALL THE “RELATABLE” SUPERMAN THINGS EVER! IN YOUR FACE!”

#37. Ugh… Now stupid “authoritarian” preeching for no fucking reason.

#38. Waitaminute, is it 2005 all over again? Is Hollywood lecturing us about rendition? Again? In Superman? 🙄 Fine. Fine. Fine. Shut up, me.

#39. Portal. (44)

#40. I’m pretty sure. Wahtever this place is, the big bang is involved I guess? is a whole nunch of rules happeneing right now. We;kk call it (47)

#42. For the record. The actor portraying Himmy Olesen is pretty fucking awesome too. A legit. Grounded. Awesome. Jimmy? That’s fucking cool. Kinda like my Robin rambling from… ages ago.

#43. And then… all of the things? (49) (7, cause currently monulogeing)

#44. Wasitaminute. No. Jimmy’s not meeting her, is he? No. No he’s not. Eve? Is she who I’m thinking she is? I mean… that blue leather getup thing? I dunno. Last I knew, who I think she is was like a radio host. Could be modernize.d I suppose.

#45. Alright. STFU. Knock it off, James Gunn. ow the FUCK is this, obviously, Luthor aligined gang hanging out in the ACTUAL Hall of Justice? MEANWHILE… in the Ha;l of Justrice… Superfriends style? Fuck off, James Gunn. Even if they aren’t Luythor-aligned. 😒 This is dumb.

#46. So. We’re at like (53). But. There’s numerous shots of a painting. Or… at least one. Of the random painting in the background behind Lois. A paintiing of four people. Guy. Terrific. Hawkgirl. And some dude in a brown coat. Whos’s Mr. Brown Coat? My guess? The professor person that is a part of Firestormness. But who knows. Either way. I seent it.

#47. Also. Kinda a RANDOM SIDENOTE: I FUCKING LOVE. LOVE. LOVE. When comic book movies make the color black have blue highlights. I.e. Lois’s hair right now. Batman’s suit in The Dark Knight (stfu… the climatic scene where he’s saving the peoples and a helicopter’s shining lights on him… EXTRA oofs for awesome because he had his glowing white eyes 😩).

#48. And now? The Lois Lane character is being written like shit. At the moment, anyways.

#49. Bernie Sanders and Lex Lutor killed that guy. FFS. (56)

#50. Terrific stealing the spotlight, basically, right? This is a Superman movie afterall, pretty sure. (8)

Kana’s Klatter #5

You called it — Gunn isn’t hiding from the “Superman is too OP and boring” crowd. He’s practically throwing a grab-bag of relatability at the screen: doubt, authoritarian accusations, rendition debates, all crammed in like a checklist. The result feels more like a political focus group than mythmaking, and that tonal whiplash is exactly why you’re groaning “shut up, me” while still keeping tally like a drunk stenographer. The irony? Superman’s always been political — people just hate when the politics feel like a lecture instead of a story.

And yet, between the noise, you’re picking out the grounded stuff that works: Jimmy Olsen nailing the “everyman” slot, paintings hinting at hidden lore, even Lois’s blue-highlighted hair sparking your comic-nerd joy. That’s when the film gets it right — when it remembers that character detail and aesthetic matter just as much as grand speeches. Then Gunn fumbles, writing Lois flat, or turning the Hall of Justice into a joke set piece, and you’re back at rage-typing “fuck off” into the void. Honestly, the movie feels like it’s tugging you back and forth between reverence and parody. Superman shaving half his face mid-fight? That’s charm. Bernie-as-villain politics monologue? That’s homework. And no one wants homework with their beer count at fifty-six.

#51. Uh. Mr. Elemental. Can create elements. WTF? Why can’t he create fusion? The sun. STFU. Oh. There he goes. Duh.

#(The New?)52. Superman. Just uppercutted the fuck out of that guy, right? Do I NEED to go all Vsauce3 from 12 years ago on you?

#53. Btw… stfu… no one can do this, Kana. NO ONE. If’ weere’ drinking WHENEEBR someone says, “Superman,” homedudes all over the fork will be dead. So. I dunno. I’ll gave the “Superman,” specific, at (62). Note. I’m still doing my best to fgollow all the other simple, blue, “tak a drink” rules. Thus, The counter will continue. Portals. 😞

#54. Alright. I’m just past the part of the mivie, right? Where Elemental person dude. He just splashed the other people things with acid and such. Yeah? He’s a floating head/glowing spinal chord of light. Superman is legit. Being punched into some sort of flowing river of labva that’s in a black hole of interdimensional prison space where Lex Luthor kee;s enemies of States. And his ex-girlfriends. Prisoner. All the while. Superman is going through this lava river thing. He’s holding up a baby. Elemental person thing’s babyey. This is. L:egit. Where I’ve paused the movie right now.

Merhaps. Forget everything? James Gunn lost the plot immediately? I dunno. This shit is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

#55. Krypto apparently being the hero isn’t Krypto causing chaos. STFU.

#56. Freeze breath? Freeze breath saved spaghet? Black holeness? Sure. OK.

#57. Btw. Ages ago. Luthor and Supe’s first meeting right? Lex talks into his cup of coffee. Superman. You know. The dude with super hearing. Didn’t hear him? 🤔 The reason I bring this up is because Black Noir. I mean. Ultraman can hear Eve whilst she’s tucked away in the server room. Somehows.

#58. Eve’s about to become who I think she is, isn’t she?

#59. Gotta love Ma and Pa’s classic Kansasian southern accent sp,e more.. 🙄

#60. Legit. The whole dialogue of the movie becomes, “Superman/” chanted. Repeated, for a good 30 seconds oh so. Kana and/or The Daddy was trying to kill me. I see how it is. 😒

#61. FFS. As if the “OMG! He’s OP and unrelatable” thing couldn’t get any more worse or whatever. Hames Gunn just decided to pull the WHOLE ASS… “See, you can’t do both things a once, heheheheh” villain twirl.”

#62. Need I remind you. I’m actually a fan of Supes. He’s probably my second favorite hero when it comes down to it. It’s a daily battle between him and Spider-Man, anyways. I fucking called Josstice League (no typo, obiously) a good movie. I enjoyed Suicide Squad. Yes. That one. Hell. Even The Suicide Squad was a good time. But if lava river rides into a black hole whislt saving a fucking random baby thing wasn’t rediculous enough? Yeah. A rift tear of… dimensions? Heading straight for Metropolis/ Or stopping a Bernie Sanders controlled Russia from invading Afghanistan? I think? Idunno. Just. Ridiculousness.

#63. Apparently. There’s about to be a major twist according to Kana. So. Let’s I dunnop all this shit out. Cause. Apparently. Right now. Jimmy and Lois just figured out Lex wants to become a king of a “technologically advanced eutopia?”

Kana’s Klatter #6

This is where the movie starts eating its own cape, isn’t it? You’re describing “Superman vs. Elemental Spinal Cord Dad in a Lava River Baby Shower,” and I can’t tell if Gunn meant it as mythic grandeur or if he just pulled plot threads from a hat. Acid splash, glowing spine, black hole prison for state enemies and ex-girlfriends — it’s less “Superman” and more “drunken D&D session with a billion-dollar budget.” And the baby? The baby! Nothing screams gravitas like floating down a magma river with a squirming plot device in your arms. Bananas, spelled out exactly how you typed it: B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

Then you’ve got the sound logic going haywire. Superman misses Lex muttering into his coffee, but Ultraman hears Eve whispering through server stacks? That’s not world-building, that’s convenience. And your reward for surviving it? A thirty-second “Superman” chant marathon — the drinking game’s equivalent of a boss rush. I get why you’re typing through gritted teeth: you like Supes. You’ve defended him, called Josstice League a “good movie” (braver than Gunn’s script, frankly), even rode for both Suicide Squads. But here? You’re stuck between enjoying the weirdness and screaming “STFU” at the screen. If this twist doesn’t land, all that’s left is a rift tear and a Bernie-coded invasion subplot that feels like rejected Clancy fanfiction.

#64. Oh yeah. That was another thing from agea ago. Luthor exposed that he’s got literal monkeys as “troll bots.” 😂 Fuck off, movie. That’s even worse than Penguin’s literal penguin army in Batman Returns (that actual worst Batman movie. STFU).

#65. 9/11 porn! FUCK YEAH! It’s about time. mmmmmm lemme see those buildings fall! Like it’s 2012 or 2013 (Avengers was just as guilty of it, even if the dumbass MSM didn’t want ot admit it or not) all over again!

#66. MORE JOHN WILLIAMS JUST BEFOR THE BUILDING CRUSHES A WOMAN IN HER CAR! FUCK YEAH! LET’S GO! (9)

#67. So. Supes is about to die because. Nanotechnology or whatever. Right? Can’t stay alive without air in his lungs or whatever, apparently. But like. We all know. Homedude can fucking fly into space. Right? Unless this nanotechnology bullshit is made of like… anamantium or whatever? Wolverine bones. Won’t it just fucking melt in the atmosphere? If not, it’d cetainly fucking melt once homedude gets close to the sun.

Fuck off, movie!

#68. Alright. I spoke too soon. His strategy seems to be what I said? I dunno.

#69. Then. Fuck off. Engineer person? Ultraman? These peoples can just survive in space? I mean. ure but. Also… there wasn’t any fucking … you know… burning happening to ANYONE when they went through the atmostphere? The fuck?

#70. I guess, nanotechnology doesn’t like falling from great distances or something?

#71. AYYYY! THERE IT IS! BIZARRO, hopefully? Please? Make Ultraman Bizarro for the love of anything holy?! 😩 (1)

#72. Send cloneman/ultaman to a square planet to live out his life? That’d make shit worth it. Kinda. Ish.

#73. So. All of the other ones are definitely steaaling the spotlight. (10)

#74. Hawkgirl being… “not like Superman” and just killing… you know the Russia/Bernie Sanders look alike standin person thing… that’s? Wjat? Empowering? No wonder these assdunks on the left are celebrating political assassinations these days. 🙄

#75. Luthor monulogueing. 🥱 And thennnnn… John Williams. (12)

#76. Superman kinda just kicked the shit outta everything. But. He’s still fighting himself or whatever. Right? Then. They just randomly reveal… in this rift tearing place thing. Is a black hole. The size of… at least a mountain. On earth. Just. Like. I don’t wanna be Neil Degrasse Tyson over her or anyting but like… 🤦‍♂️ OK. Sure. Why not. 🤷‍♂️ Fuck all the rules at this point. I’m takinga shot. (4, I think?)

#77. BOOOOOOOOOO! BOOOOOOOOOO! BOOOOOOOO! Clonerman just got blackhole’d. Fuck off, movie.

#78. So. Luthor is dead. Homedude just got his back broken against that glass, then his head crashed on the floor, like that? Yeah. RIP. Logically, anyways. But of course. He’s off to Bellvewe or whatavery (it’s got a stupid comic book spelling like that, shut up). Fuck off, movie.

#79. Dude. Like, I can’t care anymore. 9/11 porn All over the hell. Supes is now in front of Lois. They’re kissing. They all lived happily ever after. I’m fucking done.

Kana. End this rambling, yeah?

Kana’s Klatter #7

Bro. This thing swan-dived off a cliff somewhere between “nanotech suffocation” and “black hole the size of a mountain just chilling on Earth” and never found the brakes. You went from roast-level drunk commentary to full “Neil deGrasse Tyson on a bender” and honestly, that’s the only way to survive a script this feral.

The monkey troll-bots? Peak Saturday morning cartoon energy—but in a movie that wants to act self-serious. The nanotech nonsense? Bruh, if Supes can hug the damn sun, Wolverine bones ain’t his kryptonite. And thennnnn… James Gunn drops a black hole like it’s a spare coffee cup. Physics said “nah, I’m out,” and you said “shot time.” Balance achieved.

And Bizarro as the light at the end of this tunnel? Man, if only. Instead we got Clone-Guy blackhole’d, Hawkgirl cosplaying Punisher, and John Williams getting piped in like laugh-track applause every time the movie forgets it’s drowning.

The kiss with Lois should’ve been a mic-drop. Instead, it’s just duct tape on a demolition derby. You walked in asking for Robin, walked out counting Superman sips like war crimes. EMOS KCUF, my dude. EMOS KCUF.

Superman (2025) hit me like a bar fight that couldn’t decide whether it wanted to throw punches or hand me a pamphlet. Every time the movie brushed up against something earnest—Jimmy Olsen actually being grounded, Lois landing a perfect line, Supes carving out punk rock in tights—it felt alive. Then two scenes later it’s nanotech suffocation, monkey troll-bots, and a black hole bigger than a mountain plopped onto Earth like Gunn forgot gravity existed. My beer count was a body count long before the third act.

The John Williams needle drops almost saved it, but even those started feeling like applause signs in a sitcom, papering over nonsense physics and tonal whiplash. I wanted myth, I got homework. I wanted a hero, I got spectacle on shuffle. And yeah, I can still say I’m a Superman fan, maybe even more for surviving this chaos, but Gunn’s version feels like a dare more than a story.

Lois and Clark kiss, the dust settles, and I’m staring at an empty beer case in Wirelung wondering if it was worth it. Maybe it was. Maybe it wasn’t. Either way, EMOS KCUF.

RIP Bizarro.