Burying Bernie in Arizona


There;s only like.. a few things I know of , FOR SURE, that’sa going to happen in this universe and stuffs.

I mean. Back in my 20’s I’d be a “know it all,” and I’d spew to my brother who’d been a dickhole once or 30,000 times in his life, I believed, nay, I KNEW, without a shadow of a doubt, that there’d be a day where he’d come to me and, metaphorically “bow down to me.” This became a point of many-a druken contention. Again. I was a dumb ass, know-it-all in my 20’s. You know. When I FIRST started this whole, “RyansDrunk.com” experiment. Thing.

My point is. I’ve been a HUGE dumb ass. In the past. Shit. I think. I said on more than one occasion that I KNOW Mitt Romney will win the Presidency in 2012.

But forreals.



That… more than likely, by this time next year? I’ll already have gone back to 1890 (well, this one is flexible but it’s 80/20 in the time-travelling’s favor).


That despite being 100% retired, Sting will have one more match in Saudia Arabia (and JESUS CHRIST… THE RAMBLING I NEED TO HABE HERE)


That the Corona Virus is going to die out. Fairly quickly. But like. OF COURSE… you NEED to cancel MAJOR “convention” type of things in the mean time.

And. Dude.


Bernie Sanders is NOT going to win the Democratic nomination.


Minus the, obvious, “God,” thing. But. Basically. But that’s NOE WHERE NEAR the point of this rambling.

THE point of this rambling…

Is that. For… whatever dumb ass reason… the Decomocrat party DOES NOT want Bernie Sanders. And. I mean. It’s SUCH a dumb ass move on their part. Forreals. But… I mean.. by my estimation.. he wouldn’t (nor would any of the 24 Dems that ran for President) have a chance to win against President Trump uin 2020. I mean. I know. I know. I know. I’m a Trumptard. Or whatever. I’ve been propgandized by Fox News (even though, I, personally, NEVER, watch Fox News, and most everything that I do see, [ESPECIALLY THAT JUDGE JENINE PROPOGANDIST FROM V FOR VANDETTA] I absolutely HATE)! Or whatever.


Point is.

For.. whatever fucking reason… the Democratic party has decided that Bernie is FAR too socialist for their tastse. I mean.. it’s not like Biden is THAT far off from socialism or whatever. But uh. Bernie? Nah dude. Fuck that.

Which is like… The most insande thing in the history of ever. Forreals. Yer of our Lord. 2020. Or. 2017 as the case may have been. Which… just…

RANDOM SIDENOTE: Forreals dude. Louis C.K. was NEVER accused of rapining anybody. Right. THE WORST thing the dude was accused of was jacking off while he was on the phone with someone. I mean. Dure. He jacked off in front of people that agreed to watch him jack off. And yes. that shit’s lame and creepy and deserves to be like, “The fuck is wrong with you, dude?!” But to be like, “OMG~! LOUIS C.KA SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER EVER WORK AGAIN EVER~!” Is the worst idea in the hostry of ever dude. I mean. the accusation is that the women that agreed to watch him jack off.. they agreed to do so to advance their career. Because. You know. Loouis had a power dynamic over them. Meaning. Like. Watch Louis cum on his stomach. and advance your career. Or. You know… that was the reason they had to consent to this stupid, sexual act. Legit? I have NO idea what their names are. So. Even. Post #METOOISM of the situation… their career hasn’t been advanced. Despite the “power dynamic.” Or whatever bullshit you, as a TRUE progressive have to mentally gymnastically do to make the “power dynamic” narative thing a reality. Fuck you. Watch 2017 by Louis C.K. on Netclix. Cause it’s one of the best stand up comedy specials ever. Fuck you

Even Mayor Pete is endorsing Biden. For SOME reason…

THE Democratic party has decided. As a collective. I mean. FFS. Mayor Pete himself endorsed Joe Biden. As seent above. And like. Most everyone, Oof dude. Even… like, Mike, endorsed Biden.

So. Uh…

Yeah dude.

This “Bernie” thing.

I mean. Do I need to say anything else?

The… DNC has decided he’s not electable. An I men. Even if they hadn’t… Trump’s still going to win dude. It’s pretty fucking obvious. But uh.

Yeah dude. The DNC hate Bernie as a candidate. RIght? So. Uh. He’s got. Exactly NONE% chance of winning now.

Unless. Like. There’s a brokered convention and like…




Bernie has NONE% chance of winning… agt Sacrifice!

Or… yhou know…

Bernie has 8 and 2/3 percents chance of winning this thing. Because. You know.

the Democratic party sy it be so!

So… like…

THE point of this rabking?

Bernie’s not going to wkn. THe DNC say it be so.

Out of the 24ish peoples running fro President on the Democratic ticket? Yang, Mayor Pete, and MERHAPS, Bernie Sanders had a chance of beating the living meme that is, Donald Trump.

Keep in mind.

It wasn’t too long abto that a single, one second soundbyte TOTALLY disqualified a LEGIT Democratica contender from becoming Present of the United States. But. i Mean… that one second…. dumb sounbyte…. uh…


That shit? It collapsed a LEGITIMATE Presidential campaign in 2004.

Howard Dean became the FIRST pollitical meme (not named Monica Lewinsky).

THis Bernie thing? It’s got a better of a chanve at dsurvival over Joe Biden. But. Uh. They’re gonna have a debate, post-Second-Super-Tuesday, on March 15th.

And. Dude. Lemme just say this shit.

Back in 2015? I HOPED BEYOND ALL HOPES that the general… thing that would follow the upcoming year )you know, the thing I’m not allowed to mention anymore) would come down to Ted Cruz and Bernie Sanders. I wanted a DRAG-OUT  BRAWL… for the SOUL  of America… on the line in ELECTIONMANIA`1 things. Because. Bernie represented socialism. Cruz represented… sanity. Right? That’s what I wanted. I wanted, and I noted this TIME AND TIME AGAIN on the ole’ Drunken Radio Network and such. Cruz. V. Sanders. Soul of ‘Merica on the line. That’s what I wante.d

But now. Here we are.


And lemme announce this shit…

I’ma “HOST” a LIVE “watch-a-long” kinga thing… if I can make it like, “hey dude this is a podcast and I can talk again?~!” kinda thing I’ma do it. BUT… the plan is… right now… I’ma do a watch along. On RyansDrunk.com for the Marchr 15th Democratic Primary debate.

I’ma do my best to make more info happen and whatnot… espeically if I can make it a “PODCASTY” type of watch a long thing. Happen.

More infor will follow. Hopefully. If I’m the cunt that I always am then… Just check back here on RyansDrunk.com and I’ll make it a “live Tweet” type of thing. But. You know. On RyansDrunk.com.

Sigh. Basically. The point is. I’ma do SOMETHING special. During the Democratic Debate. Be it some sort of “livestream” where we can talk…  Or… a live… “blog” (GOD DAMN DO I HATE THAT WORD) where trhe rambling gets updated ever minute or so with my drunken thoughts. Either way, dude.

Shit will be fun. On Marhch 15th. Forreals.

Even then, though. That debate? If it even happens? Bernie’s just gonna be burried in Arizona. Like Cody Rhodes.

At leasrt… Cody deserve(d) it. Ugh. So much more I should add to this rambling.

But. Fuck it.

If you think.


Deserves to be president of the Unite States. Then. Like. Go for it. Right? I don’t wanna yuck your yum.

I mean….


THE DEMOCRATICPARTY… for whatever reason, thankfully, I guess, hasn’t become THE socialist part of America and such.

So. Again.


The 2020 Election will happen on November 3, 2020.

Just like…


That Bernie sanders won’t be any where near that election. Because. For some reason. THe Democratic party says it is so.


This one is for the left leaning friends of mine, reading this, and wanting to physically harm against the POTUS. BEcause. You know. THey hate him. Very much. So. There you go, guys. Imagine you’re Steve Austin. Giving him a Stunner! The you go, guys! Doesn’t that feel better? It’s kinda like the Austin/McMahon sotyrkine IRL>! Right?!

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